Poll Welcoming Our New Members - What Are Your Thoughts?

[ms spock]

As we have a lot of members joining up at times we are keen to recruit other members to assist in the daily task of Welcoming the New Members.

We all know how it feels when we end up here - we are in a pretty bad way - we feel scared - we feel alone - we feel terrified - we feel so isolated - we are worried about our loved ones - so thus we formed a group.

So there is a group of Members Welcoming New Members on their Profiles and in Chat and Wishing Members Who List Their Birthdays on Their Profiles a Happy Birthday.

We have a private message and to join up you need to be willing to Welcome One New Member per month.

We are getting new members all the time. Some days we get A LOT of New Members.

Joeylittle and Anthony gave us access to the New Members List for Longer so when we have a high volume of members joining we can look back and Welcome them.

I have been wondering what other members think about contributing to this effort? Would you feel comfortable Welcoming New Members? Would you feel comfortable Welcoming New Members in the Chat Room? Would you feel comfortable "liking" other Members Welcomes of New Members? Do you have any ideas in generating enthusiasm for Welcoming New Members on our forum?

 

[Fadeaway]

I don't feel that I could be consistent, and I would hate to leave people out. So perhaps once a month would be better for me. My other concern is people who sign up but never post, or come to chat, I would rather not spend the energy on that, although it is impossible to tell, if someone has made an appearance in chat if I wasn't on to see it.
I would feel more comfortable doing Birthdays for people who are active, and have posted within the last month.

 

[ghotiff]

Like fadeaway, I don't feel I could be relied upon. I would however be happy to help if I can.

I'm not so sure what the set up is you are proposing. I try to welcome new members in introduction threads, but find it easier if I can relate or understand them from their intro.

 

[Lucycat]

I like welcoming new members in the introduction thread only. I usually look for those who have no or least replies to their introduction, and as a sufferer I feel my welcome more appropriate to other sufferers. Not that others aren't welcome, just that I don't have their perspective.

Welcoming people is important but not such that it detracts from other threads or discussions. I would hate this to become a forum that is overwhelmingly welcoming but with no substance to it thereafter.

And I have to confess that when people ask questions as a 'guest' I tend not to reply, as I feel they want support but can't be bothered to join.

 

[Elef]

I would be happy to welcome new members once per day, as I come here to read every evening.

However, although I have been reading the forum for a long time, I only signed up recently, and have only posted once (and even that was a reply in the anonymous section lol), so I don't know if it would be appropriate for me to do it?

 

[Sandstone]

I think my take on this may be unique to me. I'm really uncomfortable with this being a formal structured activity. When I joined I was pleased people responded to my Introduction post, but if I'd found they were "doing their duty" I would have disregarded it. I read some Introductions, but I only respond if I have something to say, albeit that it may just be that this is a good place to ask questions and find support. I think there has to be some spontaneous connection for it to be worthwhile.

 

[digger]

I think my take on this may be unique to me

I feel similarly about it actually.

I feel quite uncomfortable seeing all the blanket welcome messages on new member profiles but I've not been able to really pinpoint why.

I think I personally would find it quite overwhelming as a new member, but would probably also have disregarded them for the reasons sandstone outlined above.

I don't currently read many introductions, but I can understand the 'welcome' responses there because these are new members who have shown that they are ready and wanting to participate in the forums. There are people who sign up that don't always go on to participate or who will want to take their own time in doing that.
Making a post indicates that the person is seeking that interaction.

Just my thoughts though and I suspect I'm in the minority on this one ;) I think it's a lot about how I would feel receiving them (it would make me uncomfortable) and about not wanting to intrude on someone's space until they've indicated they want the interaction (which is possibly partly a social anxiety thing and not knowing when things like that are appropriate)

 

[StarChild]

I voted no. I read some of those (extensive) welcoming posts. And while I appreciate, that it's well meant. I can't help but I feel very uncomfortable with them. As I feel that there lies a danger to overshoot the mark. - Because, if I would have been welcomed in such a way, I would have left immediately, to never return. I would have felt, as if accidentally signed up to a sect or something. As it really can feel like harassment to some. I truly think, people appreciate, that they can sign up and just read, without having do deal with others. At least, I did...

My point is, that we're not an organization, but a forum. So let's not begin to institutionalize the welcome and even the birthday congrats. It wouldn't be authentic anymore. My suggestion would be, to let the new members choose when the time is right for them, to make contact with us, in whatever way they want and need.

 

[anonymous]

I think a nice and short welcome to the forum is ok but when it is a huge long message all exactly the same as each other in a long line looks a bit false like you have just pushed the repeat button and I don't really have anything different to say so I'll just say the same thing to everyone. It just seems false to me.
If I was just joining I would rather have a few genuine replies that were really interested in me than 20 messages excatly the same as everyone else

 

[Ed Norton]

Now I have a bit of trouble with the divide as I know that I have made someone leave before. If I see too many welcomes on on person I don't tend to put a welcome. Otoh I have seen people truly appreciate it. I think that one or two per person is nice.

Lately, I have been a little overwhelmed because of my test but I will continue to welcome but probably those who haven't gotten any.

I think that it may encourage some to actually posts or come on chat. I'm not completely sure how I would have felt at the beginning, personally I probably would take it a face value but I'm not really a complicated guy

It's a fine balance but I think folks who join in a lot of cases realize that on most forums your presence is known if you're not a guest also some are shy and confused and it may encourage participation and unfortunately some may be dissuaded. And then I worry about welcoming some troll asshole but it's an insignificant factor for me.

 

[Kintsugi]

I don't like posting welcome messages to new members. I prefer to respond to introductions on a case-by-case basis when I have the energy, although I always welcome new and newly returned faces in chat, because I think sometimes that social climate can be a little bit more intimidating than simply joining the forum.

Some new members would probably rather just be lurkers with the power to like and may not actually want to socialize very much at the start. When I signed up, I jumped right in, as some members do, but I think many new members are not looking to do that immediately.

My primary reason for not welcoming new members, though, is cynical and along the same lines as @Ed Norton. Some new members are trolls, may never have sustained interest in the community, or are people I may later regret being so warm towards. I know that sounds terrible, but after nearly five years on this forum, there is a good chance new members will not stay active here, and I'd rather spend my energy on answering posts or chatting with community members who are active on the forums. It is for this reason than when I notice new members in chat, I usually try to encourage them to use the forums if they are not active, as I believe that is where the vast majority of productive healing and processing is done in relation to our condition or that of our loved ones. :)

[/soapbox]

ETA: birthday reminders are nice, though, because I often miss those and frequently realize it is the birthday of a dear friend. Also, this forum was where 99% of my birthday well-wishings came from this year just gone, and it massively improved a day that was mired in suicidal ideation and depression.

 

[ms spock]

I think you only welcome people if you want to and if you feel up for it that particular moment. If you don't then that is just fine as well.

There are more than enough people to Welcome the New Members.

I don't think doing it because you feel you have to is the way to go. It does need that enthusiasm and genuine interest in new people.

Always great to read the wide variety of views. I guess as time goes on and we get more feedback on the current Welcomings can be adjusted. It is not a duty or anything like that - it is just members who feel like doing the Welcoming. Interesting the bulk of the members Welcoming New Members are in fact relatively new members themselves - they want to welcome people in the ways that they were welcomed when they arrived, which is really lovely.

I can do more personal and individual Welcomes when there are more people doing Welcomes or there are not so many New Members joining up on a particular day, but some days I feel a bit swamped so it can get a bit repetitive, but it is the best that I can do. It has been something I have thought about though - it is something to ponder.

I do get a lot of interaction with New Members that have been welcomed who like their Welcomes, make comments and chat to me in the chatroom. Then people seem to find a place for themselves in the forum.

Thanks for the great discussion @Fadeaway, @ghotiff @Lucycat @Elef @Sandstone @digger @TreeHugger @Ed Norton and @Simply Simon. It is important to flesh out the nuances.