Well This Is A New One For Me

[Hashi]

Have to say I'm taken aback... if a therapist is a member of a professional body and keeps their knowledge up to date, would they have to ask you what you meant???? I'd expect them to say what it meant to them and how they work. Or have they just been :sleep: since they qualified?

To me, asking lots of questions seems to show that you want a high level of engagement with the process, and asking questions is probably a strong communication style for you. I don't think it necessarily makes you difficult to work with. I can see that it might make it difficult for some therapists to work with you, and for you to work with some therapists. But there aren't right or wrong approaches to therapy, just different ones, and the therapy/client match is a very individual thing.

I think if it's important to you to see a therapist who's comfortable with you asking questions and uses evidence-based methods (and knows what that means) then it's good to say that up front. I'm all too familiar with the "next please" syndrome when looking for a therapist. I've just been through this, and it was dispiriting. But I think you might as well get those therapists who for you would be "frogs" out of the way from the start.

 

[EloiseLandau]

Thanks Hashi. That seems to be the consensus when I ask other friends, and while I generally don't base a decision on that alone, in this case, ya'll don't know each other and you're saying the same thing. Worth paying attention to.

 

[EloiseLandau]

Instead of starting a new thread, I"ll just say here: I think I might have found a counselor who is familiar with PTSD, they are up to date on evidence based therapies, and willing to learn alt lifestyle without judging it.
The counselor will call tomorrow to make an appointment with me.
I am suddenly feeling much better.

 

[maddog]

Wow, great news Eloise, let us know how it goes.

Maddog

 

[Srain]

I was amazed when a therapist would call me back, here it's a 60/40 percent rage, not so good.

I always had a strong list of questions and PTSD was a major concern, their experience, methods, attitudes regarding it and availability. I'm not one to call or contact outside of sessions but if I'm going to be drawn into my deepest issues I need therapeutic support after hours on occassion.. at least just knowing it's there should I need it and not just the "please call 911 blah blah blah". Sometimes all I do is leave a text or voice mail stating the stage I'm in to pick up on our next session, she will decide if a call back is necessary. It often is not.

I like the idea of your opening up discussion on the phone prior to speaking with the therapist. I hope that this one will work for you. It sounds like you are ready and willing to get started. Good luck!

Peace,
Rain

 

[EloiseLandau]

Well, that one didn't work out, but I think someone else will.... I kind of don't think this one is a good fit, especially since she doesn't specialize in PTSD and she does talk therapy. I think I was fibbed to concerning her specialty. Also, she said she specialized in patient oriented solution focused talk therapy.
I left talk therapy to get ...something else.

 

[EloiseLandau]

Hey maddog and srain, it's been interesting at least. It's kind of embarrassing because if this particular guy works out, he'll have been in my p-doc's office as an associate all along! Had no idea this guy specialized in PTSD and associating symptoms like correlations between eating disorders. What's more, I did see him once or twice some years back when my diagnosis was simple "depression."

I had to find this my phoning my p-doc and asking directly if this guy was still around. I have that peculiar prejudice that prefers a female counselor for some reason.....in spite of the fact I have only had good encounters with one.... but this guy saw me as emergency some years ago and he seemed okay.

 

[Zipperhead]

Just a thought, but I think we mostly prefer Female Counselors. I think it's just perception, as we mostly grew up with mom being the one who would listen. Having said that, if that is this guys specialty, get in there! Give him an honest chance.

I am surprised to hear that he shared an office with your previous counselor. Why didn't they refer you to him, if he specialised in your situation? Or had you insisted on a female counselor, so they didn't consider him as a viable option? Just curious. I don't really know how referals are made.

 

[EloiseLandau]

I was thinking of that, Zipperhead, a few days ago. It's funny because Mom is the one who dealt almost all the abuse. But it was other people's mothers who were nice to me.

This counselor shares an office with my psychiatric doctor, not my old therapist. My old therapist is an independent agent.
For some reason, you can get a referral from your GP but not your specialist counselor to another one. Usually.
Maybe they are afraid of conflict of interest?

 

[Zipperhead]

I don't have a GP. On a waiting list. All my referals have gone through veterans afairs, so I really have no concept of how this thing normally works.

I hope this new counselor works out for you. I start at my new counselors office on the 20th. It's hard starting over. But when you move, little choice.

 

[anthony]

I think it's good that you are challenging them. I also agree with zipper... you should not discard males for female counsellors.

Even doing my course practicals the other weekend, I was the only male in a class of 15. I also got pretty much the highest results, because I didn't stuff around with all the nonsense and trying to be overly empathetic or such, or get involved into the persons experience. Males have an ability to remain far more impartial, genetically, than females, when it comes to trauma.

I had the women asking me how I can remember what I do and pull the key points from someone spilling their life story... when they get entangled in the story, instead of listening for key points.

Males and females have genetic indifference on how we process things... and when it comes to trauma, a male is more likely to be far better to assist you in processing your trauma logically, with emotion, than a female who is more likely to become engrossed in the emotion, and not as much logic.

It's the triangle of personality basically, in one corner you have emotion, another logic and another physical / environment. Females often sit in the emotion corner and delve into the logic and environment corners sparingly. Males often sit in the logic corner, delving into the emotion and physical / environment corners.

If someone just died and you want consoling, a female is genetically better at achieving that counselling. If you need to rationalise and piece together trauma and how to move forward, a male will excel in that area of counselling. If all you do is sit in counselling and cry, a woman is more likely to sympathise with you than a male, yet neither should allow you to continue that route in counselling for an extended duration, as its not helpful to the process.

Moral of the story: males are very effective with trauma, and makeup the majority of experts who lead trauma therapy versus females, for the exact above reasons.

 

[EloiseLandau]

Anthony, thank for the advice. I am very much aware my bias is a bias and therefore I don't let it be a make or break factor in finding someone competent.

I am actually trying a male who I had briefly had contact with a decade ago when my regular therapist had cancer. She was more a generalist though, anyway.

On the other hand, it's not that I think males are less effective with trauma, but it's been, outside of dear Mother, males who did the majority of my damage. So maybe turning to one for help is harder. The fact he knows and uses evidence based methods is what sold me more than anything. I have run across therapists who use techniques that I don't agree with (theology and finding healing through Jesus, for example) and regardless, that's not a good fit.

Moral of the story: males are very effective with trauma, and makeup the majority of experts who lead trauma therapy versus females, for the exact above reasons.

Are there stats on this? I know another girl who could use that in her search for someone, too.