Well Y'all Said I Could Write What Ever

[Gs172003]

So here goes. This is random thoughts from the past week.


This week has sucked. My brain has been mush. I don't understand all this. Hubby just wants to be close. My brain shuts down. He stops. I cry. I'm pissed at myself. I feel terrible. I'm sorry hubby. I can't even LOOK at or READ certain things without whacked out feelings. I'm crazy. I find myself dazing quite a bit.

Joey I wish you were still here. If I knew how you felt I would have stopped you. I think. Could I have? I think u could. I would have fought for you. I would have taken you in. Not left you alone. Maybe you'd still be with us. Damn you PTSD. Damn you VA.


Maybe more later.

 

[SeanCharles]

Sounds like a lot of mixed thoughts. This is a good start and hope that something more comes out of this. Thanks for sharing! :)

 

[Gs172003]

Sounds like a lot of mixed thoughts. This is a good start and hope that something more comes out o...

Thanks. That's all I've got. This week has been a damn mess.

 

[SeanCharles]

@Zoogal I can completely relate about the week being a mess as I am in a bit of a situation myself, there is some good while there will be some consequences which I have to handle quickly in order to minimize some potentially negative fallout from my decision/action which is inline with a decision in the process of review which is a waiting game on two fronts one of which being a loss of income...

 

[Gs172003]

Now a migraine. Great.

 

[Gs172003]

I just found this again. Hubby knows to let me know before he comes out of the bedroom in the am. Today he forgot. I know it's a pain to remember every day but its harder on me I promise. I try to push through.. I try to tell myself... " it's hubby it's hubby "...doesn't work. Ever. He showed me videos of grand baby. I laughed and cried at the same time. He hasn't seen me that bad in a while.

Three steps forward, two steps back.

 

[Silver.]

:hug:

 

[Gs172003]

:hug:

Thank you.

In other news. ..

The mortgage company took out their payment two weeks early and I had to ask my mom for a loan. Ugh

 

[Deleted member 37579]

What is Hubby?

 

[Gs172003]

What is Hubby?

Husband sweetie

 

[aut555]

Ok the good, the bad, the down right ugly of ptsd. It's ok to go backwards, it's ok. We all are supporting you. Just one tiny step everyday.

 

[Gs172003]

Ok the good, the bad, the down right ugly of ptsd. It's ok to go backwards, it's ok. We all are supporti...

Thank you