Poll Were You Developmentally Delayed in Your Growing Up?

[Changing4Best]

I found out from my parents that I did not start speaking until I was almost 4 years old. Also I remember that I did not start reading until I was in the 3rd grade for the 2nd time around. (I flunked it the first time, because I could not read).

At least one of my medical professionals thinks this was due to my trauma, at least in part, even though I do have Dyslexia.

One thing that is missing in my life is the ability to respond well to jokes. I often do not "get" them. I'm (as they say) "slow on the uptake" and all that. If I do get the joke, I often don't think it is funny, though I can kind of see how others think it is. I obviously get to be the "butt" of a lot of jokes, because it is so much "fun" to play them on me for people who have NO CLUE what this does to me. They enjoy having the upper hand. Meanwhile I suffer silently. Everyone from my father, sister, the neighborhood kids, schoolmates, co-workers and members of social clubs have had this "fun" with me, and often. (Oh yes, how could I forget current neighbors). Does any of this ring a bell with you? Has any of this ever happened to you??

Oh, and I do not have Autism or Downs Syndrome.

Please feel free to elaborate in the discussion section below, especially if your answer does not fit any of the options exactly. Thanks.

"Huh?" (My usual response).

 

[DharmaGirl]

I don't get jokes a lot, although I was "gifted" as a child. I could never tell my right from my left, and I still can't. That was from a head injury, though. From a parent. I don't categorize people in races, it's frightening vs non frightening, kind vs unkind, looks, intelligence. I don't so this on purpose. I'm sorry you didn't get more help when you were younger.

 

[Changing4Best]

Thanks. Life is good, even so. I was married to a wonderful man for 23 years. He passed away in 2005, I still miss him so. I have a lot of friends and things going on in my life right now that are rewarding. So I don't feel deprived. I just try to avoid people who make me the butt of jokes and who tease, etc. as much as I can.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Wow! A true survivor! I'm glad you posted that, it's so wonderful to hear good news!

 

[Changing4Best]

Wow! A true survivor! I'm glad you posted that, it's so wonderful to hear good news!

Thanks. One thing about my husband, he did love to joke around a lot, but never did he tell jokes at the expense of another. He punned. Since he spoke both Spanish and English fluently, though with a Spanish accent, he often goofed around with his accent and made a joke upon himself. Like, he'd say "Where's my keys?" But really be asking me for a kiss. He'd always get me with that one, as it would be when he was leaving for work and I would be half asleep. LOL...

 

[InsertCoinsHere]

I have recently touched on this topic with my therapist as I was trying to work out the constant ‘why me’ when it came to being butt of jokes, difficulties socialising, learning difficulties. A constant feeling of what is everyone else understanding which I am not...

The developmental delay is what stopped me from prospering. My brain was stunted, trauma had changed my brain to wire for survival and not thriving. Slowly and increasingly I became alienated from my peers due to the impact trauma had on me. I began to stand out as the ‘distant, slightly off, awkward, naive, slow’ person.. when you’re an easy target you get picked. And when you can’t keep up with the present because you haven’t processed the past then you’re constantly at a disadvantage.

Developmentally I am delayed, I’m 27 and I may always be working towards improving my brain. It makes me sad at times that I did lose such a precious period of my life to really embrace my potential however I am here now and all I can do is offer myself compassion and each day attempt to further my brain health and capacity.

You aren’t alone in developmental delay, we were massively impacted and all the studies on developmental trauma provide evidence to these facts.

We can heal, not fully to what we were prior trauma but we can heal.

 

[Freemartin]

My emotional development was probably delayed.
I was this scared, clingy kid who didn't want to stay overnight. I was terrified of starting school, going to school trips, doing anything new really. I wanted my mom to be with me everywhere, which is kinda sad because she was my main abuser... And I grew up thinking she was the best mom ever and I was just a really shitty child.

 

[Changing4Best]

I have recently touched on this topic with my therapist as I was trying to work out the constant ‘why me’ when it came to being butt of jokes, difficulties socialising, learning difficulties. A constant feeling of what is everyone else understanding which I am not...

The developmental delay is what stopped me from prospering. My brain was stunted, trauma had changed my brain to wire for survival and not thriving. Slowly and increasingly I became alienated from my peers due to the impact trauma had on me. I began to stand out as the ‘distant, slightly off, awkward, naive, slow’ person.. when you’re an easy target you get picked. And when you can’t keep up with the present because you haven’t processed the past then you’re constantly at a disadvantage.

Developmentally I am delayed, I’m 27 and I may always be working towards improving my brain. It makes me sad at times that I did lose such a precious period of my life to really embrace my potential however I am here now and all I can do is offer myself compassion and each day attempt to further my brain health and capacity.

You aren’t alone in developmental delay, we were massively impacted and all the studies on developmental trauma provide evidence to these facts.

We can heal, not fully to what we were prior trauma but we can heal.

I feel for you. I agree though, yes, we can heal.

 

[shimmerz]

Emotionally yes. Physically and intellectually, no.

 

[grit]

I think having CPTSD is developmental condition and hardly can one say they were not delayed.

 

[Friday]

@grit .... Developmental Delay is both a specific diagnosis, a symptom, and an umbrella term encompassing many many many different diagnoses, conditions, & issues. For example, it’s a symptom of Autism Specturm Disorder, but a result Fetal Alchol Syndrome/Effect, and just a fact of life with Deafness; it’s completely curable in many cases, treatable in others, as well as untreatable & intractable in many. It can be cognitive, emotional, sensory, gross motor, or fine motor. Of clear cause or unknown etiology. It also depends highly on culture, as to what developmental milestones are expected, and in what general order (it’s not true that every Balinese child is developmentally delayed, even though none of them sit up, roll over, crawl, or walk on a Western Timeline. Because you don’t set a child down until their 1st birthday, in Bali, they achieve milestones differently.). It’s a BIG term.

It’s kind of like the word inflammation. It’s a specific thing meaning swelling, but the cause of that swelling can be infection, injury, allergy, toxin, etc.

So if someone has PTSD/CPTSD from developmental trauma? They may well have also been developmentally delayed. Or not. Because the brain is super plastic at that age. Or their trauma may have actually been pushed them “faster” along the milestone list, than they otherwise would have. Brains are quirky. They respond in predictable but not singular ways. The same stimulus may slow one child down, but speed another up, have no noticeable effect on a third, and kill a fourth outright (failure to thrive).

Conversely, CPTSD can be acquired in adulthood, or late adolescence, well beyond the years of early childhood development, where developmental delay exists.

So it doesn’t necessarily follow that if someone has CPTSD that they were also developmentally delayed.