I've had a weird week... Started out with a weird bruise appearing on my back around my spine. No one can figure out what from.... Tests done.... Other than an old childhood injury from abuse there is no explanation anyone can come up with.
I went to the doctors for the rest of the results but before the doctor came in her nurse popped in handed me a questionnaire about my weight and smoking... I went into a full fledged panic attack and luckily the nurse left before it hit. Needless to say I was still a complete mess when the doctor came in... She had no explication of why my bruise was there or why 2weeks prior my heart went nuts in her office and I was transported to the hospital... But then we started talking about why I was so upset by the questionnaire and for the first time I admitted I struggle with food and it's been 3 weeks since is eaten and I still feel like a fat moron... This caught her off guard I think cause she wanted to admit me to the hospital but gave me a month to work with her on starting to eat.. She Said it explained everything with me medically and that not eating will effect my heart and i will bruise easier.... I'm still a mess... Anxiety now has moved into flashbacks and I can't seem to calm down... Can't pull all the way out of memories... I didn't know what else to do but to write this all down.... I don't know if it makes any sense.
I went to the doctors for the rest of the results but before the doctor came in her nurse popped in handed me a questionnaire about my weight and smoking... I went into a full fledged panic attack and luckily the nurse left before it hit. Needless to say I was still a complete mess when the doctor came in... She had no explication of why my bruise was there or why 2weeks prior my heart went nuts in her office and I was transported to the hospital... But then we started talking about why I was so upset by the questionnaire and for the first time I admitted I struggle with food and it's been 3 weeks since is eaten and I still feel like a fat moron... This caught her off guard I think cause she wanted to admit me to the hospital but gave me a month to work with her on starting to eat.. She Said it explained everything with me medically and that not eating will effect my heart and i will bruise easier.... I'm still a mess... Anxiety now has moved into flashbacks and I can't seem to calm down... Can't pull all the way out of memories... I didn't know what else to do but to write this all down.... I don't know if it makes any sense.
