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What A Horse Named Paragon Taught Me About My Ptsd

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I haven't been on a horse for months.

Our stable owner/trainer is preggers but due any day. She said she'll call me as soon as she's up and about.

Also...we're looking into the possibilities of someday moving to the country and getting me and the kids some horses. It's fun to dream, anyway!
 
I've been fighting flashbacks to those years. Today, I was watching a commercial about the outdoors and I just burst out bawling, missing my horses like they were just taken away today.

How I wish I had been able to say goodbye.

More than ever, I miss riding horses.
 
Thank you, Bloom. As I read your story, it took me back to when I was about 6-7 years old and in the hospital. The doctors and nurses were all trying to help me become a human child, but I didn't know how. The newspaper people branded me the "animal child" and in some ways, I guess I was.

One nurse, I don't even know her name, was so kind to me. Your description of how you handled your horse reminded me of her. She taught me so much of kindness and yet never once did she try to force me to do anything. The others did, and I'd fight them. When they tried to force me to stay up on the bed, I'd scratch and bite them. But she never did that. She would get on the floor close to where I was sleeping. Then, she would hum and I'd open my eyes and see her. She always made me smile. I felt safe when she was in the room. It was as though she touched my soul and she understood me.

Your story reminded me of her and how good she made me feel. I think I know how your horse felt.
 
So Bloom when does the book come out? The one you will write for kids and women who run free??? Just sayin' Gorgeous prose to capture your soul. I was enthralled. I wanna read more of that beautiful place you write from. hint hint
 
I still haven't been able to ride, but my knee surgery is complete. I'm getting stronger and I am hoping to find the time to ride soon.

A lot more of my memories of the horses are returning. I realize I want to move to a farm where I can have horses again.
 
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