What All Do We Need To Do To Treat Childhood Trauma And Heal?

[Abstract]

This is thread is as a result of another that is on at present and made me think. What do we need to do to get better when we have had childhood trauma? If others who have adult trauma want to pitch in as well then that is great.

These are things that immediately come to mind:

1. Removing unhealthy means of coping such as self harm, alcohol and drug dependence, eating disorders, OCD and sex or other addictions etc.
2. Developing healthy coping skills and self soothing skills.
3. Learning to identify emotions and moderate them through healthy means.
4. Processing the trauma by creating a narrative, processing the emotions and changing related distortions. Creating a self with trauma integrated.
5. Managing dissociation so that self/selves are present and life functions smoothly.
6. Learning to manage and tolerate flashbacks and intrusions and address them through processing the trauma.
7. Development of trust of self and situation-appropriate trust of others (not undertrusting or overtrusting)
8. Development of a sense of self and self awareness.
9. Developing healthy attachment patterns.
10. Desensitising self to triggers and stressors through careful exposure.
11. Learning to manage and be aware of projection, mindreading and other interpersonal saboteurs.
12. Learning assertiveness and how to avoid passiveness, passive aggressiveness and aggression. Managing boundaries.
13. Learning to avoid caretaking, saving behaviours, Stockholm, codependent, victim or abusive/victimising behaviours.
14. Learning to tolerate healthy intimacy rather than avoidance, learning to tolerate healthy intimacy rather than being enmeshed, or learning both if both problems cycle.
15. Retraining the brain to develop new healthy patterns of thinking and responding through consistent practice and resultant rewiring of the brain through brain plasticity.
16. Learning to express anger healthily (not suppressing or acting out) and acknowledging and expressing pain.
17. Learning to change depressive thinking and depression, or to effectively manage their illness for those who have bipolar or other organic or long term mental health issues.
18. Learning to celebrate the positive or achievements for us, and others when relevant, and to defeat perfectionism.

I feel a little overwhelmed writing it out and don't want us to feel that way. I more just want to see what people see as part of healing. Do you agree? Disagree? Have things to add? I believe we all have a right to our own path and thoughts. I am not sure if I see this very differently from others or not.

From a positive perspective I see it as a life finding journey. Sailing down the river and gathering wellbeing or healing along the way. Every step we take is a victory and something we should be proud of. As a concept of course as I mostly spend my time beating myself up in a quite deranged way! ;)

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

That's a marvelous list. If you don't mind, I'm going to take it and print it?

 

[Abstract]

You are welcome to Strongernow.

 

[DMerish]

Great list, Abstract - Any of those would be a good title to start a "work" thread . . . :tup:

 

[macca]

Abstract, that is one awesome list. What a great mind you have! I cannot think of anything to add, you seem to have covered the lot. Thanks so much for posting this.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Not too much work to do then :eek::arghh;.

That is a very good list. Although I feel a bit overwhelmed by it too.

I would hope that some of the managing symptoms like flashbacks, intrusions and dissociation, would come through processing trauma.

But what I find most overwhelming, is the thought of having to retrain myself in the things that people learn in childhood. I feel too old. But also, the adult trauma has come because my brain didn't think or respond like other peoples, and that's likely due to childhood trauma. So then it all looks too big to sort out - like I need to become a whole new person or something.

 

[NovemberStar]

I need acceptance of the past to move on. I'm very stuck at the moment as I feel convinced I NEED the love and nurturing I missed out on as a child NOW in order to heal. Since I'm too old to be mothered and loved like this - I despair of ever being able to move past it and 'care and love myself'. It's just NOT the same, being my own best nurturer ;(.

Sometimes I wish I had a physical disability instead of a mental one - if I was physically disabled but mentally very well - I'm pretty sure I could then use my positivity and inner strength to push myself and achieve anything. But when it's your head that is broken, and your spirit that has holes in it - its almost impossible to push yourself mentally to achieve and move on. With a mental illness, especially depression - you have to use the very thing that is disable (your mind), to get yourself out of it.

 

[Lionheart]

That is an awesome list! I think that when we work to heal ourselves from childhood trauma that we are reclaiming our lives for ourselves and that is a very heroic thing to do. I think the list reflects the fact that there is much to be done, but it can be done in small steps, one at a time, and it does not have to be so overwhelming.

It definitely takes time and hard work. I wish it were some other way, still, I can attest that after 14 years of walking a healing path, I do not regret one moment of the effort I have put forth to heal!!! It has all been well worth it and I am to the point now where it is actually a joy to further my healing.

I hope everyone who walks this path will come to the same conclusion; that we are worth the time and effort and that life can be a wonderful adventure rather than something to be endured.

I have developed healthy coping skills, high self esteem, etc and the inner work we do is something that we can keep inside of ourselves and can be proud of. No one can take these things away from us. We earn it and consequently we value it probably more so than those who have had these things handed to them.

I didn't mean to ramble on, but I think that we need to be acknowledged for the hard work that we do and that we should be celebrated as the heroes that we are!!!

 

[Abstract]

Drew, each of those involves so much! Macca, you are welcome. Not sure about the great mind but I will attempt to accept the complement graciously!

Meadowsweet, :eek::arghh;:nailbiting::depressed::(:bag:!!! What I didn't add was developing self compassion and stopping self abuse. I don't think I can add that as it is such an enormous problem for me. If we were able to look at the list through the eyes of that and 18 (stopping perfectionism) then it wouldn't be that bad at all I suspect. If only.

I agree that processing trauma should automatically resolve a lot of this especially flashbacks etc. I totally believe we can reprogramme our brains when it comes to responses that have been wired in in childhood because I have started to see it happen. I used to dissociate or freeze and loose all ability to stand up for myself when threatened and that has changed enormously already. The last two + years have been the first time in my life that I have managed to stay out of nasty dynamics. I think many of those numbers start being helped automatically alongside other things. I think our essence is always there and solid. It is the stuff surrounding it that changes and needs to change so that we can feel that essence and feel its solidness.

Novembersky, I think all of us have felt hopeless at some time or feel that way continuously. I think progress comes in small steps rather than our black and white expectations of it. Acceptance isn't something that tends to happen just like that. I find it is a hard back and forward process. Radical Acceptance is one the best things I ever discovered. Very hard to manage but wonderful.

Thanks for sharing Lionheart! It's lovely to hear about someone managing these things and your thoughts!

 

[pandora]

I have both a physical disability....degenerated and torn discs, kinked spinal cord along with PTSD...it definitely has been a battle, an uphill battle. Good luck with you healing.

 

[Abstract]

a physical disability.

Pandora, I find the physical stuff really makes the rest more difficult. Especially pain. And the two knock off of each other don't they? I can only imagine what it must be like for those with serious physical issues.

 

[EverOnly358]

From a positive perspective I see it as a life finding journey. Sailing down the river and gathering wellbeing or healing along the way. Every step we take is a victory and something we should be proud of. As a concept of course as I mostly spend my time beating myself up in a quite deranged way! ;)

LOL! :laugh:

Yeah... I mean, I see it as a fun project to reprogram my brain, very challenging. There are a lot of bugs to fix. And I like when I keep the project on schedule. But that's just a concept, of course. Most of the time it just looks like diving into too much at once, being way too hard on myself, whining and then totally melting down. (That came out weirder than I thought. I'm pretty weird, though.)

THIS IS A FANTASTIC LIST! I love a good list and this is a great one!

D123

I didn't mean to ramble on, but I think that we need to be acknowledged for the hard work that we do and that we should be celebrated as the heroes that we are!!!

I'm really glad you rambled on! That's a great way of looking at things!