Relationship What Are Some Of The Things You Do For You When Your Loved One Withdrawals?

[Sighs]

@catlover26 - can I suggest something? Don't repeat yourself - just give him time to respond. Both my dad and my partner (both combat PTSD sufferers) can take an AGE to reply to something. But if you repeat it they get confused and annoyed. Just ask the question / make the statement and then wait. Sometimes its 5 whole minutes before you get an answer as if no time had passed.

Might not be the case for your vet but worth trying.

 

[Sweetpea76]

When my sufferer isolates, I have got to keep busy, or I worry about him too much. I clean closets or find projects to do. Anything to occupy myself.

 

[catlover26]

@catlover26 - can I suggest something? Don't repeat yourself - just give him time to r...

Well most the times it is not really repeating myself. It is asking him if he heard what I said. He does have some dementia problems either because of his age, family history, exposure to agent orange or ptsd. I think now I am just going to have to pick better times to talk. I need to be more in tune when he seems more 'alert' and I can talk to him about something. Other times I am trying to relax and just enjoy what time we have together even if he can drift from doing one thing to another sometimes.

That is why I posted something about writing letters to our Vets. I don't gripe at him. I just want him to understand if something happens and I react a certain way why I did it. I think it helps for him to be able to read it. Plus I like to add many things in there about how special he is. He has such low self esteem. He always seems to appreciate my notes.

 

[Owl.]

To me, it very much depends on how my day's going.
I may watch bad movies, read, blast music that might just drive the neighbors to move out of the country, do something creative (usually badly), go have a drink, write him little notes he's never going to see (neither the angry nor the loving ones), clean my place, clean somebody else's place, risk my life with little care about the consequences on a mad hunt for adrenaline - whatever works best as a distraction at that time.

The only constants, no matter what, are not enough sleep and too much work followed by working out to failure.

Considering he probably won't resurface for several months now, he's likely to return to a woman built like a tank, and he'd better love it then, 'cause it'll be his own d*mn fault. :p

 

[catlover26]

@catlover26 - can I suggest something? Don't repeat yourself - just give him time to r...

I have learned a lot from this forum. So glad I found it. I wasn't really getting upset at him but asking him 'Why couldn't we do this... " or he might get on the phone while I was there and that became annoying. But after he explained it I understood. That is the reason I wrote the note. Several times I make too big a 'deal' because I covet his time when I am there and I am an emotional person. But I am learning to stop all of that. He has so many issues, health problems, sleeping difficulties on top of everything that I realize he is trying to do the best he can and wants to spend time with me. Sometimes he is just not up to it.

 

[Xica]

A way to make me feel close and connected to the one I love who has PTSD is to listen to the songs...

I do this too, and look at old pictures of us too.

 

[Xica]

Welcome to my life. I've dealt with this for three years. I hope your friend comes back like mine...

My husband has not left yet but he dose isolates himself. I have notice that when he most dearest he will go out and run for hrs. The hardest thing is him not realizing he needs professional help. What have you all done to convince them they need help?

 

[catlover26]

My husband has not left yet but he dose isolates himself. I have notice that when he most dearest he will g...

I don't think there is really anything you can do to convince them they need help. Although my vet is so much older than most of your's it all sounds the same. He has been through AA and can usually 'talk a good talk' and give me great advice on living one day at a time for my problems yet he is staying depressed and not trying to get anymore help for it. I have mentioned several things he could do because I have depression but it's like he just acts like there is nothing that can be done. He doesn't trust the VA and won't tell them much about how worse he is feeling.

So I have had to stop suggesting to him about should he change medication, try to do something to occupy his time etc because it just ends up frustrating me. It's hard but I realized there is only so much I can do because it was getting me too down all the time.

I wish you the best. Take Care of yourself!! Hopefully in time your husband will realize that he needs help. That will be by far the best way for it to hit him that he has to humble himself and get help.

 

[Ccspec]

It's my guys birthday today and fathers day . I sent him happy wishes but nothing going on day 10 days. No word. He will not return , I truly believe he will not return.

 

[Lilmssunshine]

It's my guys birthday today and fathers day . I sent him happy wishes but nothing going on day 10 days. N...

I'm sorry girl. That was sweet of you to send him wishes. I'm sure he appreciates it. Though he doesn't express it.

 

[Ccspec]

This is my first experience out of my divorce 6 months ago. I think I'm more depressed now then I was when I got divorced. Maybe because I dint have closure, and I'm not sure if I was the cause. It's so hard not knowing for sure. I'm starting to regret ever opening myself up again.

 

[Lilmssunshine]

This is my first experience out of my divorce 6 months ago. I think I'm more depressed now then I was whe...

We don't know the future. Anything can happen.