I heard something else today, may also be helpful, how people become frustrated (bored?), or otherwise discontent with the routine of their lives. And I see it's something people take for granted, more often than not, the abilities and opportunity for such routine; the humdrum existence of work (that they sometimes actually enjoy, and are often pretty well compensated for); spouses (usually of their choosing, and not necessarily abusive, plus 2nd incomes, vacations, homes, vehicles, and large scale purchases and 'toys'); children; family (likely some supportive, some challenging, some removed; extra responsibility, connection, and resources), etc. And this is substantially better than those without viable employment, shelter, protection, etc. And most of the former being 1st World problems, vs 3rd World, for most of us, with or without.
But I thought, how different, how very different, when the reality of routine is taken for granted as expected, deserved, forthcoming - even possible, Because, after all, it is in the achieving of that routine that many peoples' dreams and aspirations were fulfilled. (Undoubtedly not necessarily as they actually dreamed it would be, but nonetheless what they not only wanted, but expected, and maybe took for granted as they would be fulfilled). We all as humans say not to compare, especially since it's a recipe to feel miserable, but the fact is there is a difference, there just isn't recognition that we aren't all operating under the reality that these things are 'givens'. (Notwithstanding I'm sure some people with ptsd do expect others, including spouses, to put up with whatever they dish out, and can be mighty self-centered, as we all can be).
Additionally, I heard it said as people we try to control others' reactions, and others try to control ours/ us. I tried to think if I do that, and all I can come up with is work/ my boss: I try to put in 110% more than they require, to keep my job, and hope they will respond with recognition and satisfactory acceptance of the 100% (not 210%) that is required. On the other hand, I just passed a Christmas, Bday and New Year, without even a well-wish from a relative, who may have hoped to hurt my feelings, or just didn't care. For certain didn't care enough to want to enough to bother.. All I can do is set my own boundaries, but I am a human being, and have feelings (there's a shocker). And in the end, for all relationships, that's what it comes down to. Do you care? Do you bother? If it's a spouse, are you faithful? And the answer to some of these questions is, for some of us, relationships aren't really all they're cracked up to be. Doesn't mean a good person should get left out in the cold, but most people aren't quite that 'good', either. Ptsd is never routine. We should wish. :( And feelings, well what's the use of more hurt? JMHE though, everyone is different.
