What Are We Waiting For?

[Michel]

Hi. I've been away from internet for a while, have brief access at the moment. I'm just seeing this thread for the first time, so am jumping in a bit late on it. But I know and want to say what I am waiting for - and fear it will not come or will not come for so long I won't be able to bear the wait (I haven't borne it very well so far).

I am waiting for validation of my experiences of torture. (I'm not sure 'validation' is the right word.) I want someone who knows what's happened (and there are people who know what's happened) to say it happened.

I think there are limits to what victims of severe harm can do on their own to recover, and this is the most important limit. I can't bear living alone with that experience.

My mind is flooded with pain until then.

 

[Jline]

Michel, I truly hope these people come forward for you and that you don't have to wait too long. Waiting is so hard, frustrating. I am praying for you to have closure. If there are people that know what happened to you they need to make things right and come forth. Look after yourself, be kind and good to you, you deserve that. The truth will surface.

Peace

 

[Jline]

Today I am waiting for this medication I started to not give me headaches anymore... everyday... who wants to live like this, f#ck. I also am waiting to not feel so exhausted from these meds... all say, "you will adjust." Ok, I will just eat tylenol like smarties for a while, geez. I am waiting to see my T in a couple of days and just kinda feel like giving up today, tossing the meds and proceeding without taking the little pill. I am waiting to be able to go out alone at some point in my life. I am sick of waiting.

 

[Squiff]

I am waiting to have my home back so I can have control and heal
I am waiting to have healthy relationships with people that don't need to use threats and control others.
I am waiting to be around people who have compassion and don't want to deliberately trigger PTSD in me.

 

[amethist]

I am still waiting for the hospital to contact me in regards to whether they will take my gall bladder out or not. I say STILL because they should have phoned me last Thursday or Friday.

I would phone them, but guess what, they did not give me the number to call them. I have the out patients clinic number, but they cannot help, I have to phone the numpty's secretary/nursing assistant, he is the one who said yes we have all the info, we will call you. Maybe it is one of those, "Don't call us. We will call you". Well they have 24 hours, then they can shove it, I am sick to death of being messed about by our damn health system, shit I wish we could afford private care.

Amethist