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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I have been feeling weepy.

I am feeling grateful that I have been having insights about my place in the world, my connection to other people, my dissociation and my general status. I have come to terms with a lot in the last few weeks.

I am feeling grateful that I went for a 20 minute walk.

I am also feel grateful that I got my meds from the pharmacy. I did a quick clean out of the fridge, wiped down the bathroom, emptied the rubbish, cleaned a little, cut the edge of the hedge and dropped off Kelly's keyring and keys.

Mostly I didn't do anything today but I pulled it together at the end of the day, which seems how it is at the moment.
 
I tried to do all the self soothing things and had myself ready for bed and sleep.
I was so relaxed and thought I will get back in to my sleep routine and my sleep hygiene tonight.

When I got to bed all this grief came up and I cried and cried. I felt so heartbroken about all the loss of people in my life. How much time I have wasted. So many things came up. I just sobbed and sobbed.

I wasn't going to ring any one then I thought no and then finally I rang a friend and that was good. I had a good talk. A really good talk. So that was a relief.
 
Silly for participating in a stupid you tube bullshit fight, and retorting to people who are just not worth my time. Annoyed at myself for giving into that part of me that wants to fight with strangers on the internet just to lash out. Annoyed that I couldn't just ignore them and let it go. Worked up a bit...needing to calm down. Tired and ready for bed, but still too worked up to actually go to bed. Disappointed in myself.
 
Disappointed in myself.

Don't be disappointed in yourself. It happens. When it first happened to me my son told me that those people who egg you on are called trolls and to ignore them. Last night I commented on an article. I know someone will make an offhanded, close minded comment, but I am trying to not look back so that I don't get drawn into that. Why should I work myself into a tizzy over some strangers views? It is difficult though. Especially if it is something that I'm passionate about. I don't expect to change people's minds but, I guess, I just want them to acknowledge that my views are important too.

I think that really has to do with how I felt growing up. Unacknowledged.
 
Trauma girl you and your family are in my prayers. I am sad that you are enduring so much right now. I am hoping that it all turns out good for you. Hugs and prayers.

I am feeling ok. I get the girls today. I need to get off of this thing and do my chores and get ready to go and pick them up. I am so excited about having them over. I am sad that it rained and may rain some more. The girls will be cooped up in the house.
 
(((HUGS))) to all who are in pain.

I'm feeling, well I was going to say lazy, but instead I will look at it as I am allowing myself to do very little. There, a negative feeling to a positive one - yay, good for me.

Whilst H sat and finished our holiday scrapbook from Sept 11. I sat and read my book. I started reading it yesterday and have just finished it. I also wasn't woken until 12.45pm by H. He had allowed me to sleep as he said I must have needed it.
 
I am feeling very happy. I have both of the girls. It will be quiet at my daughters house. Ezri wants to go and see our friends here. She loves to visit them. I will be flexible. I will have them undecorate the house for christmas. We will go to get my dog her shots. Then we will come home and undecorate the tree and put all of the decorations away. They are in such a good mood. I do not know how i will pur them to bed. I have a bed for both of them, but they do not like sleeping in it. I will have to be firm.
 

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