What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'm annoyed again. My mood got better through the day thankfully and I didn't snap at anyone. I ended up frustrated at one point this evening. But now I'm annoyed because I just realized I haven't seen my therapist since the end of October. I knew it felt like it had been awhile but I didn't realize it had been that long.

Twice she was sick so I know she couldn't help it. But the office has started making mistakes with my appointments. I'm supposed to see her once a week but I'm not scheduled to see her until the end of November because of the mistakes the office is making in scheduling. It's really starting to annoy me.

 

[roaminggnome]

I am feeling a little less lost hoping to find my way. I know it will be a journey and take time but I'll get there.

 

[intothelight]

Struggling with staying focused on now. I keep looking all around, at what I stumbled over in the past, to the side to see what "others" think, and out into a future that I am not sure I will be there to see. A lot of wasted energy as I know the past is done and gone, and the only purpose it can serve me is what lesson I can use in the present. It doesn't matter what others think, as I don't read minds and the only person I am accountable to is myself. The future is an unknown and the best way to guarantee more future for myself is to do the best that I can each day to battle to remain healthy.

There is a very rational part that knows all of this, but there is a fear that somehow I will screw everything up and leave it all a mess. It is a huge fear and then in turn I put so much pressure on myself to "make it right" and sometimes I don't even know what right is. No unusual thoughts for someone with cancer, but they can become overwhelming when you throw PTSD into the mix.

Really need to stay in the present, focus on the quality, know what is and is not my responsibility, and just be the best that I can. Some days it is so easier said than done, and that's my battle.

 

[EverOnly358]

Hugs offered to @D123 and all who could use them. Brighter days always come again.

@franciemarnie, Many thanks for the hugs and right back at you! {{{{{francie}}}}} :joyful: The holidays are SO difficult. I did want to say that I've been listening to binaural beats for awhile, and they're really helpful!

@therisa and @rainy_daze, I really hope you both feel better soon. It's the worst having a cold or a virus on top of PTSD, so unfair!

@Junebug, I just wanted to say thanks for the hugs and say {{{{{everyone}}}}}. I really like it, too, when people have good days or post accomplishments or whatever... gives me hope, too.

Okay, I'm way behind, so that's enough mushy stuff for the moment. ;)

As for me, I'm really confused about so much. I'm sad and overwhelmed and just feeling all out of sorts. More and more memories keep hitting me and it's overwhelming. Finally, I'm hating the roller coaster... I'm up, I'm down, I'm spinning around and around. But, y'know, somewhere in here, I'm still determined.

 

[EverOnly358]

I must have had some kind of dream that I can't remember. I'm feeling impatient with pretty much everyone around me. I'm frustrated at myself for feeling like this. And I'm frustrated with myself for being frustrated with myself.

I really relate @BlackbirdSinging, I had one of those days recently, and it's so hard... no one here really understands, and I try my best to just do my best when all I want to do is hide. I feel frustrated with myself, too, but then I *try* (don't always succeed) to remind myself that it's not my fault, I didn't ask for PTSD, y'know? I hope you can take care of yourself and give yourself a break.

Once again hugs to {{{{{everyone}}}}} who wants them, lots of hugs. It's been a tough few days, huh?

 

[CraftyCath]

I have felt angry and frustrated this week but am now feeling much better.

I was getting anxious because the sink was blocked and my H wasn't here to fix it so I had to do. It turned out the blockage was outside so I had to take those pipes apart too - it was gross! I couldn't get the pipework back together and was almost in tears so I asked my youngest who is freakishly strong to help. He put it all back together and it is draining perfectly with no leaks! I'm so happy about that! It was such a worry.

The next job at the weekend will be to pull the cooker out and remove the element so I can order a new one. Crash course on cooker electrics via YouTube should help here as there is no way we can pay an electrician. I managed to install an extractor fan and fit double sockets and switches in the hall so I have a good idea what I am doing. :whistling::cool: No cooker = no Christmas dinner.

I am trying to see the jobs as a challenge rather than a worry which is keeping the anxiety at a minimum. :tup:

 

[KP the nut]

I'm feeling, I want to say beautiful but that goes against my upbringing. Oh, to hell with it. I feel beautiful and feminine. I'm just back from the hairdressers with my new hair cut and colour. I know I'm not beautiful, but just now it is how I feel.

 

[CraftyCath]

@KP the nut We are all beautiful!:hug:

 

[Spiderallis]

Trying to stay focused on good distractions until the pain medicine starts to work. That grumpy critic in my head gets louder when things hurt. 'T-time' this afternoon will help, in a few hours I'll have help in fighting this.

 

[Red Feather]

@KP the nut... You go girl!


I am feeling emotional but contained. Proud that I visited a friend yesterday, and stopped myself from going to a severe derealization by asking my friend to give me something strong to smell. It totally worked. Today I had to tell the psychologist at the day center that I cant take part in the group therapy. I am so wishing to avoid that, but she wants to work on that. :cautious: I am also proud because I worked out and did fitness and that was good. I guess I am emotional because of them wanting me to do group therapy and the memories of Mr. W. :eek: Now I actually have some free time and I dont know what to do with myself. I have to distract myself and get grounded so that the disso doesnt come back again.

 

[therisa]

Am feeling a little less anxious today, after yesterday's meeting with the social worker, but have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning, which is always, a very stressful time, for me.

Thank you, @D123 for your supportive thoughts.

 

[ninja]

Nervous. Met with the disability resource people at my university. I was thinking I could use two other conditions to get the extra time that I need on tests, but now I'm worried that I won't be eligible because they are not "main-stream/well-known". I know that I'm trying to use them to avoid disclosing all of the emotional stuff, which is probably a problem. My current therapist doesn't diagnose, but facing the prospect of a proper behavioral evaluation is so scary.