What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[franciemarnie]

@Hope4Now - I love that PTSD could lead to greater creativity. Talk about trauma creating a major paradigm change - literally. I was thinking while I cooked dinner that had my life gone on as wonderfully as the first few years, I would never ever be doing the creative work I am doing now. Sometimes beauty can be pulled from the pain.

That said, the beauty I am pulling from the pain has my jaw tense. Usually that means anger, but not this time. I feel it's physical tension reflecting my visceral need to control what I am powerless to control. Got to work on acceptance tonight.

I am cold too but otherwise good.

 

[Hope4Now]

visceral need to control what I am powerless to control. Got to work on acceptance tonight. I am cold too but otherwise good.

Hi @francimarnie! Have missed your posts. I share that visceral need. And I'm freezing cold. Have been all day. Has little to do with the temperature outside (22 F last time I looked) but in my psyche. I think it's fear...of being powerless and being hurt.

 

[greenleaf]

I've been alternating between feeling some strong emotions that I can't really put words to, and feeling a sort of itching (relief?) in the middle of my head and back; it's not a skin problem or anything like that. Bizarre but the emotions seem to occur before the bouts of itching. Anyone else ever have this sort of thing?

 

[ms spock]

A bit overwhelmed.

 

[ms spock]

@Ms Spock sorry to hear you are anxious. Keep revisiting, "your old friend, the breath" in the words of Sharon Salzburg,

Also feeling a little spark of hope. The Huffington Post put up an article on "18 Things Creative People Do Differently," and one of the 18 had to do with new research in "post-traumatic growth" that shows recovering from trauma can transform the way one sees the world and lead to increased creativity.

Breathing is good.

Mindfulness is good.

Creativity is good.

 

[Miss_Understood]

Focused.

 

[macca]

Self-medicating with alcohol. Not getting drunk, but drinking every night for last 2 weeks. It's got to stop before it gets out of hand. Anxious, depressed, SI, shame, disgust. Need to bring myself out of this. Started medication again today.

 

[Lionheart]

Got triggered this morning and it brought back a lot of abuse memories...as a result, I feel sick at my stomach and unclean, like I need to take a shower and scrub myself.

 

[Hope4Now]

feeling a sort of itching

Yes! back of neck at base of head, and on my right index finger. Has nothing to do with skin issues. Just another strange manifestation of my issues. I haven't yet detected a pattern. However, I told my therapist the other day that I think I have been living in a 24/7 physical flashback for about 22 months now (when pain began).

 

[Spiderallis]

I'm spinning around in a circle, too anxious to sleep well and the anxiety increases from lack of rest. I've botched so many things from not thinking clearly that I'm terrified to try much else. The 'to-do' list keeps growing with mistakes I need to correct that it's shoveling on even more anxiety. This circling is drilling a hole in the ground below my feet which I'm afraid I'll fall into. More anxiety. I'm so off balance that I'm only making things worse the harder I try to push them back into place.

 

[Hope4Now]

Self-medicating with alcohol.

@macca, I've been doing this too. For a long while. I never get drunk but I have been having a drink, sometimes two every night. I don't think I'm worried about myself on that end. It seems like one of the few things I can do for pleasure that I can do in a balanced way. For me, it is a sort of an end-of-the day ritual. But then, I've never had problems with alcohol consumption. If you don't/haven't in the past, then maybe you shouldn't deny yourself?

 

[ms spock]

Scared and overwhelmed.