What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Deleted member 12723]

Proud of my family. I feel we are really here for each other and have our own little support group.

Overwhelmned by the kindness and hard work from my daughter. She went to my home and stuffed her car with many valuables and brought them over here.

 

[roaminggnome]

I am feeling better. Kind of like the calm after the storm. I'm now believing that I just went through a manic episode followed by crashing with SI. It feels weird to name it for the first time and recognize it for what it is. I'll check with my doctor to see if I'm correct. But for now I am calm (no anxiety), relaxed, and my mind is at ease.

 

[greenleaf]

@Hope4Now, I was having episodes of feeling freezing cold last autumn. (Not from actually getting chilled). I got a heating pad with fuzzy fur that fits right over my neck and shoulders, that warmth seemed to help that, and it's really relaxing too.

 

[Hope4Now]

I feel calmish today. Proud of my son for the wonderful poem he wrote. Proud of myself for having written some poems. Excited that I am meeting my one dear friend for coffee tomorrow morning. Pleased that I got authorization to see my therapist twice a week. Proud that I had the courage to share some of my shameful anxieties with him and he responded in just the right way. Delighted that I see the end of the tunnel on the book I am writing for work. Scared that tomorrow is going to be hard when I have to run a Board meeting AND have dinner with the Board of my organization. I know most of them, and am afraid that all my weird physical stuff is going to break out. Trying to take things one thing at a time.

 

[Hope4Now]

@greenleaf, yes! I have one of those as well as a super-power heating pad. I sandwich myself between them. I miss the old clawfoot tub in my old house though. Sometimes a bath is the only thing, and I can't take a bath at my house. Too "Green" and our on-demand hot water heater can only handle showers. Sigh. I told my husband I want to go somewhere that has a jacuzzi so I can just get warm for a while!

 

[Hope4Now]

Now, less than two hours from my last post when I was feeling okay, I am freaking out again. Leftover energy from my sort of emergency appointment with my therapist during which we sort of interacted with a very young (3y) part of myself. It went okay in the session, and for a while afterward when I was doing my "homework" of trying to "be with" and "listen to" this part of myself. But the assignment was to make sure that the 3y old part of me not completely take me over. I think I am in the process of failing that part of my assignment.

I asked him what to do when these parts of myself start to act really self-destructively (imagine a 3 y old being suicidal) and some other part of me is watching and feeling powerless because some other part of me is blocking the love and compassion and soothing and safety I am wanting to offer. Crazy body stuff going on, fear, shame, wanting to run away and hide. He offered some suggestions that are failing miserably. He told me I could call him anytime, but it is after midnight and I feel like I absolutely cannot do that. Welcome to my inner war. I HATE having ptsd. I want it to go away. I am going to try to sleep. Thanks for listening to me vent.

 

[franciemarnie]

Pooped.

Hugs to all.

 

[Ed Norton]

Very tired, avoiding sleep again because of nightmares.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling like I did okay today. Refuted my thinking today. Did some mindfulness to break up my head chatter.

 

[J_trustno1]

Felt bad about the bad choices I've made in trusting all the wrong people last year. But blessed at how I come out of all that gunk safe!

 

[zaniara]

Too many things, overwhelmed, stressed out, panicking, sad, scared, confused, shame, agony and despair. And so scared I will wreck everything and even make my therapist quit on me. (He did get angry with me the other week, so.. Besides he's changing into working with other things, and I'm his only patient now. He promise not to let me go, but I'm so scared he will sick and tired of working with me as well..) Scared what will happen if I don't manage to calm down.

Feel like asking somebody to help me, but besides support from friends, there is no one to ask for help from. (Losing my insurance in a couple of weeks and need to apply for social security.am scared they will give me a hard time, and it's already bad..)

 

[macca]

Depression less severe today - still there, but I'm coping a little bit better.