Scared. Scared this morning when I was considering going out for a walk. Finally managed to decide where to go then backed out because it means going somewhere unfamiliar (even though it's just out of town), plus as its rural and there has been ice I don't know what the roads are like, plus it's remote...
Decided I'd go to the cinema this evening instead as its safer, which meant staying in all day.
Then I tried to do the (really simple) mindfulness exercise my therapist gave me. Sat down, told myself to breathe and started giggling. Couldn't get hold of myself. Stopped, tried again, more giggling.
Gave it a break for a few hours, tried again, same thing. Then I got frustrated, then I didn't know if I was giggling or crying.
Angry at myself for not being able to do it. Scared that I can't do it, scared that something about it is seriously freaking me out. Scared that my emotions are all over the place, and I don't do emotions.