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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Scared. Scared this morning when I was considering going out for a walk. Finally managed to decide where to go then backed out because it means going somewhere unfamiliar (even though it's just out of town), plus as its rural and there has been ice I don't know what the roads are like, plus it's remote...
Decided I'd go to the cinema this evening instead as its safer, which meant staying in all day.
Then I tried to do the (really simple) mindfulness exercise my therapist gave me. Sat down, told myself to breathe and started giggling. Couldn't get hold of myself. Stopped, tried again, more giggling.
Gave it a break for a few hours, tried again, same thing. Then I got frustrated, then I didn't know if I was giggling or crying.
Angry at myself for not being able to do it. Scared that I can't do it, scared that something about it is seriously freaking me out. Scared that my emotions are all over the place, and I don't do emotions.
 
I've been up all night from insomnia (which is being made worse by the steroids given to me to help heal the COPD/pneumonia). I am wired awake but doing pretty good otherwise.

I am being mindful of things, I am feeling grateful for my life, and am praying for some people who are going through a rough time tonight. I am optimistic about the future and feel (positive) that things are finally going to come together for the better in my life. Mostly I feel really happy right now.
Tired, but happy.
 

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