Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
Numb, tired, relieved, out of danger, but still not safe
persistent, enduring; like crawling into a hole and never coming out, but I won't, I'll push myself and drag myself out by my toenails instead.
I am finally feeling that I will be heard and will receive appropriate feedback that I didn't have with my old counselor.
I am feeling like with this new therapist that I saw today, I will get my power back and just feel better. I had been giving myself away to this former counselor, just because, but with this new one today, I could be authentic, and that I felt so good!
Feel a bit sad. A bit angry. A lot tense!
Realised today in counselling. The reason I have so much tension to the point of chronic pain in my legs would probably be cos of the many times in childhood when my mum would do those incidences I would go numb from the waist down. I guess I would dissociate by not feeling anything to get through it.
Even though I knew it felt so uncomfortable & I didn't want to do it at all I didn't know at the time that it was wrong.
It was all framed as caring & kind things a mother does. Or framed as playful & a game or our joke or that we have a special unique bond that no1 else has. & I believed it.
So yeah. Massive news to me today.
Smashing through the denial bit by bit.
I can feel by my legs I have a long long way to go.
I feel happy that the month is almost over and that pay day is coming soon. I feel more care-free than I have in awhile. A little nervous, but that happens every year around Halloween, so I am not alarmed by it. Generally optimistic and grateful for my blessings.
I am still feeling so different. It is like I have given permission for my body to just relax as I do have a choice as I have a very qualified therapist to see again next week.
I believe my body was at the point it was shutting down as it was so dreading to go back to my former counselor. Now, it just feels free and relieved, all at the same time!