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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I just wish I could make everything alright for every living being. Looks like the garden space will be getting watered with tears today.

That is a beautiful sentiment and a beautiful image. I get with wanting to make everything alright, but since I couldn't I make it a goal to at least make something better for at least on living thing a day.

Getting back on my feet and feeling more capable and less overwhelmed emotionally. In a few days I've gone from being drowned by the emotion, to numb and now to more regulated. What use to take months or weeks now happens in a few days so the recovery time is so much better.
 
Distant, sad, and mourning the absence of the ongoing supportive nurturing love that I, and so many others, didn't receive in the past that I keep hearing so f'n much about from others today. Yet in the same breath, I also feel incredibly relieved for those who were very well cared for in a manner that promotes rather than stifles growth. It feels heavy as hell and rather shitty, but also rather necessary, if that makes sense. So many mirrors, so little inclination to look into them. May my burning desire to lovingly nurture myself against all of these ever increasing f'd up odds still remain when this wave of feelings pass.
 
Relatively present. Ok.
Underneath that there's all sorts of tears and sadness and one hell of a lot of anger.
I keep getting.. not an image rather an impression of tears coming out of my eyes.
Grief.
 
Mixed feelings as I am proud of the mother I am and for surviving my own mother. While Mother's Day can feels more like a victory day, there are also feelings of loss as I know, even more certainly now, there is no hope and probably never was to have any type of reconciliation with my own. I have to reconcile within myself that she is so mentally ill that it is a miracle I can out of my childhood as rational as I have. Let blame, anger, frustration, guilt, shame and sorrow fade as the loss is for more of what I needed and wanted, rather than for what was the reality then and now.
 

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