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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I felt bad and angry! Angry because my wallet was stolen and all of my identification cards is in there including my ATM card. I feel bad because there are people like these just stealing while others are working hard to live.
 
I feel really depressed and low today.

I've been signed off work for another 4 weeks. I know this is for my own benefit, but I also feel useless. Work is the only thing I'm any good at. But I know that I can't be there while my sleep is so erratic. I also know that I'll be in the s*it at least, if/when I get back to work. I'll probably be lucky if I still have a job, and that causes me a great deal of anguish.

I've also been trying to sleep without sleeping tablets, as per my Psych's instructions. But the nightmares are horrific, worse than ever. I don't know if the sleeping tablets stop my dreams / REM phase of sleep and now my body is trying to play catch up, or whether I still dream but just don't remember it because of the sleep meds. I know the meds do cause me a small amount of amnesia, so I don't know which it is. Either way, it's horrible, but if I'm going to get back to work, I need to be able to sleep, without meds.

Urgh! Even typing about this crap is making me feel more depressed. I'm off for a walk...
 
Today I have mixed feelings:
Tired & sad because its the last day of term & most of my friends are also work colleagues
In a constant state of hyper-vigilance, like someone is sat on the back of my neck
Pleased with myself for making the decision to cancel my psych appointment yesterday, I want to prove to myself that I can get through how I'm feeling on my own
So far, so good..........................
 

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Feel like someone threw one of those dumb looking old fashioned life preservers into the ocean. Bad bad bad BAD weekend. Contain contain contain every single movement, thought, action, statement or one spins out into who the hell knows. WIERD to have life preserver flung out of the sky-didn't know the ship was anywhere on the horizon. NO idea on planet why, am not asking or he'll maybe vanish again but had email from old T-reopening practice. Holy hell.FEEL like wish to go sleep on doorstep of office until it opens this morning before something escapes this little tightly packed capsule everything's stuffed into.Crap. Now have to use the dam phone. This is a terrible day to face that particular obstacle.Oh my, but my T is BACK!
 
Much like cherryblossom, I feel depressed and low. My job is the one thing that I'm REALLY good at. I like it and I miss it. That I've been told that I won't be going back to it for at least 5 weeks has me toodling around feeling useless. I've not even been off work a week and I'm lost. I don't know what to do with myself. I have blanked out on A LOT of TV in the last week. I feel guilty that I'm off work while my team picks up my slack. This isn't right. I'm anxious because I need to call my boss and tell her that I won't be back until September. I don't know how much I should tell her about why I'm off. I feel awkward and like I don't fit in my own skin.
 
At this moment I feel nauseous, sick and anxious. I am devastated by family who have labeled me as "whacko" and they are perpetrators. I feel abandoned by those who have in the past tried to support me but have seemingly "given up" and "written me off".

I hate this illness. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. If I could give this illness to anyone it would be 'idi Amn" or somone just as reprehexible. I can't , at the moment, find any real significance in my suffering and wish that I could just somehow bestow it on Charles Manson.
 
I'm not feeling a single emotion; rather I am numb, while tied up in emotional knots and aching with physical pain throughout my shoulders and back.
 

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