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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Hugs to everyone!
Feeling disconnected. Spouse was around all day and by days end, all the muscles in my back are in knots. Wicked sore throat from the sinuses because of allergies. Basically feel like I have been hit by a bus. Don't know if it is all anxiety, allegies or I am greeting a bug. Hoping some sleep with the CPAP filtering the air helps.
 
I feel better for having slept in til after midday...must have needed that.

Glad I chatted with a friend who is non judgemental, and it really helped me lift myself out of feeling scared and worried about escalating downwards.

Yesterday is a distant memory, and today is a brand new day.

I feel calm, a little scattered, but proud of myself after reading an article on how to handle being shamed by people. I realized that I said the exact right thing to my brother to discharge the shame he was throwing at me, so I didn't take that on.
 
I feel okay.
I feel stronger.
I feel more like myself than I have in years. I have a long way to go, but I've started the journey.
For the first time in years last night I didn't have to sleep with the TV on or the computer and earphones. That is super big for me.
I can see a light at the end of this horrible tunnel I've been stuck in!
 
I would like to thank everyone for the're support over the last few days.

My feelings are of joy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

Happy to report that my brother is doing better in the ICU, his new kidney has started to work and he is off the ventilator. His lung had collapsed and he has a heart murmur. He knew about the heart murmur before the operation but didn't tell the doctor, fearing that they wouldn't give him the kidney. They debated it for hours before they made a decision, whilst my brother went through emotional turmoil waiting.

The kidney from the live donor had cancer on it. They operated and removed it before they transplanted it. Okay it wasn't the best kidney, however it works for now. My brother doesn't care if only lasts a few years, he thinks it's better than dialysis. The trade off is living on anti rejection drugs and other meds for ever. He thinks it about the quality of life and not the quantity.

Despite all of this, PTSD sometimes can make us stronger because of the trauma's we have endured. My brother also suffers from PTSD and extremely bad health, but he is remarkably strong, I love him and am so proud of him.
 
I feel yicky. (It's a word I made up- I combine yucky and icky and get Ta da! yicky!) And that's cause I wrote in my trauma diary yesterday, and then ten minutes before my exam I had flashbacks and got hit on the shoulder.

I feel hopeful- no longer feeling really really bad as I did for the past three weeks.

I feel proud- I wrote my exam and I managed to keep focussed, even though I was in danger of dissociating, I forced myself to pay attention to the questions and I answered them all!
 

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