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I feel anxious and nervous about oral surgery I'm having today. Thankfully I'm not too worried about it. I'm just aware of those emotions. Then this morning I was talking to my parents and they ended up arguing. I'm too hypervigilant to talk about the details of what they were saying. Conflict is a stressor and sometimes a trigger for me. And listening to what was being said made my anxiety and nervousness more intense and I got stressed out. Now I'm shaky. I'll be ok. It was just too much. The words were almost hurting my ears and I almost wanted to cry. Sometimes I hate conflict.
-My throat hurts, and really don't want to vomit again today.
-Overwhelmed, since I need to go public about what has been going on to try to raise money for medical, and living expenses. Yet just writing it out is overwhelming.
I have come to the terms that I don't have to feel bad or weak for having ptsd. I'm still human despite negative feelings and no matter how people pick on me because they think I am weak, you also have similar problems!! (Off forum.) I don't sh*t in my backyard!!
I'm feeling on edge and really irritated at my husband! I say on edge, but PISSED OFF is the word I want to use, yes pissed off and disrespected. Trying to calm myself before I talk to him...
Still on edge, but validated in my feelings. Happy and proud I talked to my husband in a calm manner. :tup: My husband said he would of felt the same way, and he was sorry and will try hard to not do what he did again! :tup: