What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Deleted member 10686]

Today I feel uneasy. like I am expecting something bad to happen at any moment. kind of like the edginess right before a big panic attack...I hope it doesn't get to that point today.

 

[amy]

weak

 

[Sammy]

Hurt, disappointed, scared, angry. Most, hurt.

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh Sammy, that's an awful way to feel :(
(((((((Sammy))))))), if that's ok, and all that could use one.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

relaxed

 

[nyxsea]

Today I sit in awe of the unmitigated damage done to me by the Public School system I was forced into. All the authority figures that watched as "we" were constantly intimidated, beaten, bullied etc. I am mad at the Public School system, I am mad at the gym teacher who locked herself in the office while we were beaten by others, I am mad that everything that happened had no consequences to the bully...but all the consequences fell on the "victims" shoulders. I am mad at my Very Christian parents who sent me back day after day and could not see how much pain I was in. I am mad that they focused on "troubled teens" but couldn't see that their own daughter was troubled daily. I am lonely and sad for no one really knows the pain that has lived inside me for 40 years. Tears fall because now I am aware of what happened, yet no real solutions to the issues at hand.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

(((nyxsea)))

 

[heidi]

I suppose I should stop drinking. I mean I don't think it's great to put my mind/emotions through unnecessary outside turbulence. I think it does stress out the chemical balance.

I could have taken klonopin but I'm weary of taking that too much. And I'm weary of not developing my own coping methods when it comes to that type of anxiety.
I am reserving klonopin for the extreme/intolerable inner fits of anger attacks that I get.
So I guess it was exhausting.. great socializing...resulting excitement.. extreme anxiety...headache. My regret after socializing can be so intense it's hard to explain the intensity.

And I met the most incredible girl today. She is probably the type of girl everybody has a great experience with. It just felt like for me, it was an unusual connection that I had with her. She biked away afterward and I thought.. well I suppose she has a lot of friends, but I wonder sometimes about rare connections and if that was one.

 

[goingonhope]

I felt a number of emotions today (I think)-(ha-ha) and then I didn't feel much of anything for whole periods of time as well. In fact I felt and was again oddly disconnected, (though appearing present) from family today. I don't know!

Who on earth would ask such a difficult question anyways? :D

------

I can crack a joke and think it ought to be funny, and even place a grin, but I don't actually really feel any smiles or joy right now while presently in much pain and addicted to cigg's as badly as I am; Especially at this ridiculous hour!

I feel really crappy :poop: to be honest, but I'm gathering tonight that perhaps I ought to call back on a couple of talents that I use to accept and live out quite regularly. Perhaps I should gracefully accept the fantasy that I can manage and handle all this and more entirely by myself, ..and accept such a fantasy as reality. And, whether I can or not won't make a difference, because I could regularly be quite convincing before when I believed I needed to, ...and so perhaps again?

Now if that makes any sense, I'm surprised.

Anyhow sorry about the insincere joke. Yet really it would be funny, ...if I could feel anything but numb.

Well, now I feel like an arse-hole. Probably because I'm likely just that right now. Though I'm not hurting anyone, but I'm still an arse-hole. In family dynamics that I've experienced most if not all of my life, when a person is truly very ill and unwell, they are not only to blame but there comes with this accusations and quite the extensive list of ..(I'll keep this simple and just leave it with this).., bogus information and solicitations to follow.

Having been honest and shared this, now I'm thinking uninvited si thoughts. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. I am just Bad. :devilish::eek:

(searching for the emoticon where one beats themself over the head with hammer)

After all this I now feel something: I feel less crappy, more scared, pleased with my ability to get this out, koo-koo, silly and partially motivated to seek a better attitude.

 

[Srain]

I feel amazement that after having blurted out all the ugliness of my innermost feelings that I wrote and haven't posted yet, to my husband, about 15 minutes later he came up behind me and gave me a huge hug! I was completely startled and defensive at first - not of him, total instinct...ready to smash, kick, and claw for a split second...so unexpected, he is usually not so demonstrative - he began to tell me of these 2 nightmares he'd had, awwwwwww, :(.

He doesn't usually have them and then he told me they were about me leaving him...huh??? He was sad? About that??? With this asshole boss??? HUH??? :mad: I would NEVER...awwwwww, how horrible :( ...I knew how horrible those dreams could be but to have 2 of them back to back, I felt so bad for him, and he was telling me! Awww, and hugging me, and trusting me...and here we were 10yrs later, never broken up and there for each other, me always afraid he might not want me and him having these nightmares that I usually have.I felt so much love and loved. All the fears and pain melted if only for that moment.

 

[Mercy]

Listless
deadened
sleepy
worsening agoraphobia
lack of trust for H.
anger, surprise!
useless
tired of life
overburdened
Am years late on commissions
fear

 

[CraftyCath]

Tense. Lots of pain in my shoulders, feet arms and legs my muscles keep tensing and relaxing involuntarily. I don't know if it is emotional or if it's a side effect of the SSRI's. Either way, I don't like it.