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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I'm feeling so hurt and sad, I have a headache. I want my parents to love me. It isn't love and support they're giving me. I'm FORCED to love them. I need to leave. I want to be independent. I'm tired of being their little girl. How could they hurt me like this? I'm such a horrible daughter. :cry: I'm supposed to THANK them and support them and be their little girl- not scorn them and abandon them. :cry::cry::cry:

I feel so conflicted. I've never felt so hurt. No wonder I never told them my trauma in detail.
 
Very, very angry and depressed. Haven't found a therapist...off all meds for awhile due to being misdiagnosed with Bipolar when it is CPTSD. Fighting with family. Teenage son doing lousy in school and being very disrespectful. Ten-year old twins need me and I am struggling just to process simple conversations. Husband tries to understand my illness but we end up arguing bitterly. I feel as if I despise everyone, including myself. I feel tired and useless. My eyes sting from crying and my body aches from I don't know, idleness? I don't feel happy or positive about one thing in this world. I have let my kids down terribly because of my illness. I have never truly been a suicidal person, but lately that option is beginning to possess my thinking. Off and on self-medicating. Have nothing left to mask the pain and this is probably why everything is so amplified today. I even felt lousy when I took the pills, so that wasn't a good way to deal with the pain. I feel completely defeated. What does a person do when they feel like this? I feel that nobody in my life understands. I feel that they view me as a sad, lazy person who has absolutely nothing to offer. Then when I try to explain that, I am accused of being on the "pity-pot", which absolutely enrages me! I am speaking from the heart, I am not trying to wallow in self-pity. It's what I feel and it has been steadily getting worse. I just feel like giving up. I wish someone could give me an answer...
 
Feel not to bad today, woke this morning had a few pain killers and some Vitamin C before I went to the store to buy turbo concrete for my fence.

Helped the neighbour dig and straighten the poles and pour the concrete. Not side efforts from the manual work. Spoke to the kids on Skype and now going to relax on the couch.

Big huge (((((hugs))))) for all though's that have the responsibility of looking after family, small children and who can't just go relax on the couch. :(
 
I read on here somewhere that it is good to set a goal for ourselves everyday. I decided that I needed to be up for at least 8 hours a day to make it appear I am a part of my family. For the most part i managed that feet. Well yesterday I was up 14 hours, I read to my children, I made dinner, I was a mom. YEA ME!
 
Its almost bed time, but finally its over, for now.

I am feeling loved,
I am feeling loving,
I am feeling needed and wanted,
I am feeling happy!
I have almost forgotten what that feels like.
I am feeling alive again :p

The batteries have been recharged,
I know I will be able to handle another few days of bad again,
I know they will come, this IS the rollercoaster... :cautious:

I am in love again, all over again :inlove:
Oh thank you!!!
 
I am having another good day. I went grocery shopping, and had a lunch of pepperoni and crackers, comfort food.

I got on the lap top and am posting. It helps me to be supportive. I like giving out to others. I like comforting people. I like reaching out to people. Ilove this forum. I am not having anxiety today.
 

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