What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Let It Be]

I'm feeling "richer" due to the IRS!

Just went to the mailbox and there was an envelope from them. I shakily open it, to read the letter from them. It says that they are to going to send me a refund.:D

I kept reading the letter over and over to make sure it said what it said:whistling:

 

[goingonhope]

I fell asleep early last night and missed taking my new medicine Remeron or my needle. I woke up today and though at first I was frustrated, ....as I continued actively through this day I did little other then enjoy it and accomplish lots. What a welcoming treat to yesterday's stressors, ugly feelings and irritability.

 

[Tinyflame]

My head feels like it's going to smash into pieces, and I am hugely over-stressed.

Tomorrow, I have a scheduling interview, and they decided to schedule a labour intensive morning call before my next labour-intensive regular call, so will have 4+ hours of that before meeting with HR.

I feel sad, as regards my dad I wish I knew then what I know now. :(

I'm not sure if I really remember him. Though I know 'being a dad' was important to him. "Family".
Not sure if he'd 'remember' me?- though that sounds weird.
Never had interaction together as an adult, let alone now I'm pretty old. wonder what he'd think. Seems all strange. I think I'd feel shy. Maybe embarassed.

I wouldn't know how to pick up.
We'd be like strangers, apart for a lifetime. :unsure: :(

 

[Tinyflame]

My sister never understood that. If I said it, that 'I didn't know what Dad would think (now)', she'd say 'ridiculous'.
But it's not ridicuulous, how could he know how I am, when I never even knew? He wouldn't even know what I looked like (end result).

Also, some of the things he was 'proud' of, well later they fell apart- I fell apart- wonder what he'd think of that (and me)? :(

 

[AngelaMarie]

I am starting to feel better finally. This time is was almost 3 weeks to come back from the fear and disassociation. It's like time passed and I don't remember much at all.

However, now I feel the ground again and am going to take care of myself and protect myself from trauma for a while.

Blood test at hospital tomorrow. I was going to do it today and forget I couldn't eat....oops!

(((Hugs))) Wishing you all the best.

 

[LawPhotos]

Tons of flashbacks this afternoon and this evening. They went on and on. I hate them! Ended up locking myself in my bathroom. They came out of nowhere. I have no idea what the trigger was. In the morning I recognized that I had a lot of anxiety but couldn't figure out why. It seemed like it just kept building up until WHAM! Relentless flashbacks. I hate my life...

 

[KP the nut]

I avoided this thread yesterday as it was difficult to put into words what I was feeling.

Today is better, I am a lot calmer. I spoke to my brother last night and I told him of our Aunts death.

He is sorting through his house and has found a box of old photos. When our Mum died, he obviously packed them for safe keeping. He is going to send them to me. I love old photos.

H left on business this morning and is away overnight, so it is just me and the dogs. I'm fine with that - well at the moment.

(((HUGS))) to all.

 

[CraftyCath]

((((((KP))))))

:sick::sick::sick:

I'm still full of a cold and my sinuses are blocked.

I made a moussaka on Saturday and I should have known better. It had milk, butter and cheese in it and I'm lactose intolerant. I used skimmed milk and only a bit of cheese and had a small portion but by 1am I was burning up inside and my heart was racing. I ran to the loo and vomited so violently that it was a real shock! I had just got back to bed when I got tummy pains and had to run back to the loo and one violent volcanic eruption later and I nearly passed out!:sick:

My body was in a state of shock and I was shaking all over and so cold! I didn't know which end it was coming from next!!! Well, I have learned my lesson! No more dairy for me, I should have known better but I didn't think I would feel that bad.:rolleyes: Perhaps it was because I wasn't feeling too good anyway with this stupid cold?:(

I'm still feeling queasy so I'm on a light diet for now.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Cath))) I hope you feel better soon.

I have been using goats milk skin care products on my skin and I'm taking it a step further by drinking goats milk and trying to cut down cows milk products.

I made a moussaka on Saturday and I should have known better. It had milk, butter and cheese in it

Are you able to cook with something like No moo - other lactose free products are available:rolleyes:.

 

[CraftyCath]

Are you able to cook with something like No moo - other lactose free products are available

I use soya milk on my cereal but still seem to have problems with the lactose free stuff. I can't stand goats milk and if I cook with soya milk the rest of the family don't like it! :rolleyes:

I guess I'll have to try cooking something separate for me and let them have all the dairy! I never use to have this problem until I hit my 40's and it seems to be getting worse.

Thanks for caring sweetie. x

 

[rainy_daze]

Relentless flashbacks. I hate my life...

((((((LawPhotos)))))), thinking about you. I hope you're looking after yourself ok.


Today I feel too hot, freezing cold, sweaty, anxious, sore, painful, raw, exhausted, overwhelmed, intenesly sad, depressed and suicidal. I am also feeling a lot of hatred towards myself and disappointment.

I failed my entire semester at university. I knew I had, but now that I have the official results, well, I have a month and a half to resubmit it all and I have no idea how to manage it. Depression wise it is the worst I have been since the down period started back in 2009. University is the only thing I have trying to give me some kind of future. I am messing it up while begging the doctors for help who just keep telling me to wait. The waiting list feels like a Neverending Story! I am also so angry:mad:, sick of knowing that the first step to getting rid of/coping with PTSD is to ask for help you need - so simple. Except once you ask no one tells you that if you're poor you'll have to wait for years while your mental health declines until the point that you've been a hermit for 8 months. I have been a hermit for 8 months. That isn't who I am normally.

I don't feel like breathing any more, but to survive today is My Goal For Today. I just have to keep my head held high, even though I want to crumble. Stupid emotions - I wish I could be numb to this or feel empty, even though I dislike that, it'd beat this. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel less like this or more in control of my emotions.

Phew, I hope everyone else has a good day, I'll be quiet for now :speechless:.

 

[CraftyCath]

((((((((rainy_daze))))))))

Strength to you my friend. Just breathe. Take small steps and you'll get through. Here if you need to talk. x