Today has gone well. I have enjoyed accomplishing so much which needed to get done. I did start to become irritable when in late afternoon, I realized that I had not yet found the time to take care of caring for the section of my face in which I had biopsied. Also, I was increasingly hungry and yet somehow I undershot the mark for how much dinner to make for my children and I and there wasn't enough left for me.
Also, it was getting quite hectic with inquiry and deep discussions that the kids, each in turn, wanted me to participate in. I was feeling overwhelmed then with already having successfully juggled so much. Then I was suppose to be following deep trails of other's thoughts on different subjects while cooking supper and this was becoming stressful and aggravating.
Tonight I am angry. On top of all the physical pain I've been experiencing while going in and out and back in to it's symptoms, ...never being able to predict when it will come on intense, or pass so quickly, as if it never existed.
Then, on top of this I get a piece of mail that came as a surprise and though it is good news, it's also just another one of countless psychological and really tough challenges that have been happening repeatedly over these last 3yrs.
These things are no just coincidence either, I'm almost certain of this. They're like some invitation :devilish: from the devil to be self, :eek: or other destructive; or for me to fall completely apart; or even just to end up suffering emotionally and feel absolutely batty. :(
I feel once again unexpectedly tested and :alien: alienated and mad as hell :mad:.
