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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Cath, sending warm thoughts of support during this time. And I agree with KP take care.

KP, Hope your settlement goes through quick too. Hope the routine has settled now your doggie has gone through the worse of it now. Mine sends woofs and ruffs for well wishing.


I'm feeling irritable and jumpy. Thoughts are going by so quick. Decided to just ride this out until I can find a lull in activity. At this point fighting it is making it worse. If there is no lull then I'm going to clean top to bottom until this crap settles down...eeesh.
 
Physically, I'm not feeling all that well today. I have a lab tech coming this morning to draw some blood, so I am fasting. Which means no pain pills til they are gone. sigh. I'm rather dizzy because of it. Mentally, I'm doing better. But I need to find out if my therapist was able to move around an appointment for me. While he was waiting for me to call him back, someone put a person in the slot he had available. It was the only one my ride could do, now, they can't even do that. It takes both her and her husband to get me and my chair into her car. sigh. Spiritually, I was able to go to church yesterday, and it went well.

I guess I'm still a dizzy blonde. sigh
 
I feel guilty
I feel ashamed of myself
Nervous for my first therapy appointment later today (finally!)
Scared of never being able to get out of my own way
intimidated and overwhelmed

Also I'm feeling a bit determined. I'm determined to finally realize who I am and be able to accept the good things in my life. Determined to find my own reasons for living, my own worth. Determined to make right the wrongs I have done and earn back the trust of a loved one. Determined to not let all that I've learned and been shown have been in vain.

Also angry with myself for having taken the good things in my life for granted by not being able to accept them or that I deserved them. Disappointed with how cowardly I've been for over a decade by not even being honest and open with myself and because I was too scared to put in the work to learn to accept myself and face my demons so I could move on.
 

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