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I feel proud of myself today. I got out of the house twice this morning to run some errands and I actually talked to people without breaking into a sweat!
I haven't been around for a few days. I was feeling so overwhelmed. Hubby was away all of last week and it was a busy week without him. Eventually I realised I was spending so much time staring into the distance, almost as if I was in a trance. By Thursday, I knew I needed to self care urgently before I slid too far.
I didn't go to work on Friday and excused myself from the forum. Just reading posts was making me feel ill.
Hubby came back on Friday to help piece me back together. We have a lot happening just now. A lot of work is being done on the house and as he was away, I was seeing to most of the organisation. He has gone to work today but has taken tomorrow and Wednesday as leave so that we can spend some time together, hopefully in the garden.
I had alot of anxiety this morning and took medication for it and it helped to settle me down. I managed to make all of my buisiness calls this morning. I have some things I need to do today and will get them done.
Hugs for all who need them. ITL, you are so right about feelings. I used to come here everyday and write "numb" or "I don't know". When I first started feeling my feelings, it was overwhelming. Now I only get overwhelmed sometimes.
I feel apprehensive about going to therapy today. Oh well, I have to leave now so there won't be that much time to be apprehensive, lol.
I woke up very grumpy and very explosive, and don't know why, as always! If one could measure my mood, I would say, it (the mood I'm in) smells like an old limburger cheese.
Definition by Wisegeek.com: Limburger cheese is a shockingly odorous cheese which originates in Belgium. Most individuals who have been in the vicinity of this cheese remember the smell, which has been likened to rotting feet or moldy boots. :mad::mad::mad:
I'm using Google Chrome and I have no trouble with the forum .... Hoooorayyyyy ! No blocking nor bogging. I can even go to the chat room !!!! this girl is happy ... So why am I up at this time of night ... It was chemo today and am having hot spells and insomnia ... Ohhhh feels so good to come back! Hoppy dance ....
Feeling peaceful and centered this morning. I also realized that I have been pushing a little too hard and backing off yesterday was beneficial. Some of the emotional instability can be tied directly to fatigue and that is something I can control.