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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I've got the blahs today. It is unseasonably cool and rainy, overcast and dreary etc. and I am neither happy nor sad...I'm just sort of 'here'. However, it could be worse and so I am going to try to get focused, stay positive, and perhaps things will get better soon.

Hugs for all who are struggling today!!!
:hug:
 
Not good, really bad, unloved, outcast... all to do with my FAMILY, just my family, thankfully the rest of my life is OK. My nephew just made an underhanded attack on me on Facebook. He and I have never been close, now this besides, to add insult to injury! This is the kid that only answered in one sylable answers when I talked to him when he was a child on the phone. This is the kid who has never sent me a card, bought me a present, made any effort to stay in contact by email nor any of the other usual things one would expect from a family member. And of course he's never called me! He's in his mid to late 20s, lives alone, works in a job WAY under his ability, and in general likes to drink, party and slack off.

To top all that off, his mother NEVER calls me, but at least she sends me a card for Christmas and Valentines. She also periodically sends me phone cards so I can call her at least. But still, I'd like her to show some kind of effort.

My niece calls me once a month maybe, never sends me things or cards, oh, except for Seasons Greetings cards at Christmas (which she does not believe in or celebrate).

My family did not do anything I asked them to do for my parents' Memorial Service, they arranged it and called all the shots.

Now I am alone in the world, because none of them will come to visit me either. Yet they visit one another and they take trips to places that are farther away from where they live than I am. I supposedly live too far away or they are too busy, but they find the time for all kinds of other things to do!

I am poor and they are rich. They own houses and drive expensive cars. Me? I live in subsidized housing for the poor, aged and disabled. I cannot even afford a TV or a phone. I have a government sponsored phone which gets 250 free minutes per month. I get food stamps and Medicaid. I could go on, but I don't want to bore you any longer with the sorry details....
 
I am feeling happy this morning. :) I am pain free, I'm not anxious or depressed. Although, with chronic illnesses and mood swings I know that this may change as the day goes on, I am enjoying this reprieve from the struggle. I have been given a lot of caring support this week here on the forum and I am feeling especially grateful!!! Thank you to all!!!
 
Annoyed. My politically minded nephew blasted me on FB today with some fierce anger. I have not responded yet. I have cooled off from it, after praying to God even before I read it to keep me from responding in anger. But I don't have to like what he said! He got nasty yesterday and blasted Christians, so I responded that I felt persecuted, fool that I am. I should not have bothered, for he is a trained debater and also a person who studied journalism in college. Me? I'm an artist and poet. What do I know about politics and current events? NOTHING, I don't even own a TV and I don't read the papers! So he can blast me with a bunch of supposed facts he's heard on the news, but what can I say? Only that I am a Christian and I often feel persecuted in this anti-Christian political atmosphere of the day here in the USA, where Christians can get fired for voicing their opinions outside of the job even or get UNinvited to the White House for having done so, etc. So we Christians quietly practice our faith and look for places (such as here) where being Christian is for the most part welcomed and or accepted.
 
I am really tired and have a headache. I'm stressing out about the grad school interview in 2 days. I have to review what I'll say. Please God don't let me stare and shake. Or be able to cope with it if I do.
 

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