What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[rainy_daze]

Today I'm feeling:
:eek: and :cry:.
:( and :banghead:.
:arghh; and :cautious:.

Depressed, stupid, worn out and once more, I'll repeat it because it's the biggest one today, depressed. (I know I'll get through this, but I'd like it to be over soon.)

(((HUGS))) to those who want and accept them.

Thanks KP, your internet hug felt nice, friendly and safe :tup:.

 

[ms spock]

I had a lot of SI feelings and thoughts this morning whilst I was having panic attacks but I got through.

I had a lot of upset and anger over the loss of jj, that kept going around in my head. Maybe I needed to get up and go for a walk instead of trying to meditate. Sometimes it is hard to know how to manage it.

Still refuting the SI thoughts. I am only in the second or third week of the new medication, maybe that is what is playing up or maybe it is just me I don't know. I feel useless and hopeless.

 

[shoulderblades]

Feeling very groggy. Slept for 17 hours; had really vivid, disturbing dreams about all kinds of things concerning my past. Left me feeling disoriented and unsettled when I woke up. Still feeling unsettled.

 

[CourageofSnow]

Feeling happy today. I had a sleeping tablet last night - amazing how sleep can affect a person's well being.

Feeling proud of all the work I accomplished today.

Tonight watching movies with my kids and eating pizza YAY!

 

[KP the nut]

I think I've been at the happy juice. I woke feeling really good. Hubby was laughing at me as I was dancing and singing 'Oh happy day' whilst getting a towel before my shower. I even grabbed him for a quick dance as well. I hope my mood lasts because it feels good. Oh dear, now I'm singing 'I feel good' by James Brown. Maybe it is just as well I'm in the office on my own :cool:

I'll try and bottle this feeling to share with you.

 

[ms spock]

I had a nice time out. Met someone I knew from TAFE and spent some nice time with her and her friends.

So glad I pushed myself to go out. I feel a bit better now.

 

[Philippa]

Feel so buzzed from the day of learning mathematical perspectives and geometry. It was so stimulating and interesting, and I really got it I think. I felt a sense of getting my moneys worth from the teacher, who is also a brilliant "master" artist in his own right, but just an all round lovely lovely man as well. I've really benefitted so much from this trip, and going back to basics in art was something that has proved rewarding for me. I think I can bring this information forward into the paintings I create in the future.

I'm so excited to be alive right now. I've come so far, and I can honestly say that tomorrow is my birthday and I'm looking forward to celebrating it...which is a first for me. I will be having a massage early in the morning, and then onto the day spa for a day of relaxing and indulging before I head home on the 13th. I don't want to leave Ubud, but I'm curious to know how my new job will go...?

I'm grateful that I have a wonderful home to go home to, regardless of whether it will be just me now that April my cat is gone. In one sense she has freed me to travel more if I want to, and in another I am obviously sad at her demise. I feel benevolent and forgiving today. I affirmed that I am willing to forgive my father today, and myself, and I meant it. That does not mean I will return, but I will no longer carry these bad feelings around in my body and mind, which only poisons me.

I feel liberated, free, and looking forward to life in the future. I am enjoying myself in Ubud, and am over balinese food. Grateful to have just lasagna tonight for dinner at a restaurant, even though the waiter looked at me like I am just another silly westerner who comes to his country and doesn't even try balinese food...if only he knew.

I feel like meditating and examining my emotional world right now...and seeing what insights it has for me.

I am full and content with food, warm and slightly itchy. I can feel that I have healed quite a lot since i've been here, in my heart area...without even trying. Bali is just such a special place. I'm so lucky to be here.

I didn't really do any more painting today, which I was psyched to do after class, so I feel like I wasted time a bit, but I'm on holiday, I'm allowed to just go drink a couple of martinis and fart around on the computer if I want to. There's always tomorrow, and it definitely sparked my interest to learn more about sacred geometry.

 

[therisa]

Am feeling very fragile, after a bout of SI, my first since the holiday season of 2010-11, and a night filled with high anxiety and silent tears.

 

[Philippa]

Allowing feelings of utter desperation and low vibe to pass, shed some tears earlier thinking about my mother and none of them contacting me on my birthday, even though I did not contact them on theirs either. Don't know if I can keep doing this, but don't know how I can go back at this stage either? Don't know what to do? I feel sad...my cat is gone. I brought her home as a gift to myself a year ago today. She was only with me a year, but it was so much fun having her around, I don't want to think about what it will be like without her there to go home to? I am lonesome. Feeling insecure a bit. I felt shame earlier after crying about missing my mother. I heard her voice telling me about all that her and my provider gave up to have me...a not so subtle astral guilt trip, which I calmly replied in my head that they chose to give up those things to have me, and that it doesn't mean they are allowed to treat me like shit because of their sacrifices. I feel empty and alone. I feel maudlin and confused and unsure.

 

[Britt.f7]

Today is a great day for me. Have to embrace it while I can. My best friend sent me a way belated birthday gift(I know she ordered it before my birthday in July but they didn't come in until recently). It is a set of wine tumblers. Looks like a plastic tumbler on the outside, with a lid, but, on the inside is a plastic shaped wine glass. Perfect for having a glass of wine while working in my garden! Yippee!

Cutting down on some meds that I don't think I need. One down, one to go. Weaning off. All with the doctor's help. Makes no sense to me to do it on the sly. I should do it safely, and so I am. I don't need any crashes.

 

[Britt.f7]

tomorrow is my birthday

Happy, happy, Birthday Philippa! May this be a year of exciting awakenings! May it just be beautiful!

 

[Philippa]

Thankyou Britt...at the moment though, I feel so angry I can feel the blood vessels in my eyeballs about to burst, and I honestly don't know what to do to expel it except express it here.

I just received a birthday wish from my father (whom I had convinced myself was dead) basically saying that my family will never walk away from me despite me having done just that, and that their deepest wish for me is to put aside the past and recognise that they don't want to be in conflict with me and just come home to the ones who "really love you".

I'm so angry I could seriously scream for about 10 minutes right now...but I'd wake everyone up in this peaceful beautiful place. I feel so much tension in my neck and jaw and am livid. I replied, and noticed myself becoming progressively angry as I typed. It was a slap in the face...he still refuses to acknowledge his part to play in it all and is playing 'peacemaker' again, which is his co-dependant role. I can feel a tension headache coming on.

Thank goodness I am booked in for a massage in about 5 hours. I really need it.

:mad::mad::mad::mad: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!