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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I'm not exactly sure what I feel right now. I was in a good mood earlier. And then my mom gave me some news that kind of upset me. And then my thoughts started distorting a little bit. And then a friend of mine said something that I ended up taking personally. Now I feel kind of depressed and frustrated. I'm frustrated that one sentence made my emotions get weird and trigger my anxiety and my hypervigilance. It really bothers me that I can't seem to handle anything. I feel like everything just triggers something. And that triggers something else. It makes me feel like I just fail.
 
It really bothers me that I can't seem to handle anything
I know that feeling Blackbird. I really resent when I react to something I don't want to.

Feeling very vulnerable and unprotected at present. I feel like I have stripped my strength away along with the improvements I have made with dissociation and self awareness etc. Not at all sure how I would cope if something difficult happened to me now.
 
Find myself waffling somewhere between self-doubt and self-confidence. I've had a few days recently of feeling very confident and handling what life throws at me really well and even some really stressful situations without a symptoms flying to the surface. Then there are days when the old doubts and messages creep up and then I doubt myself and don't handle anything really well. To know that I am worthy and capable seems to be such key mindsets to just living. Finding consistency seems elusive, but something so worthwhile to strive for.
 
I'm feeling content. Hubby is in the garden and I've been pottering. I made another Christmas rag wreath and I have now glued the back. Once it is dry, I will take a photo and post it.

I feel I'm still on a high from last nights Kris Kringle chat. I'm looking forward to making Hubby and I a hot chocolate - Spanish Hot Choc, one of my gifts.

This may sound sad, but I'm excited that it is the 1st Dec. That means I get to open my advent card (@p-no Thanks) and light my advent candle.
 
Well... my emotions have been a little all over the place this morning. I woke up all freaked out and upset and thinking about how broken and damaged I am. How stupid and ridiculous. I decided to just exercise as soon as I got up, as a way to combat that. It only worked so so.

Then I got out my laptop, and people had left really nice comments in my Trauma Diary, and I was able to really settle down. I just love this forum, because people really do understand.

So, first it was... Freaked out, upset, overwhelmed, miserable, hopeless :eek: :unsure:
Then it was... Determined, grateful (for music) :tup: :singing:
Later... Really grateful (for this forum), calm and happy (writing about my goals and what I'm grateful for really helps) :) :joyful:

This writing down what I'm feeling stuff has been really helpful. And I'm noticing that I am actually content or happy a lot more than I thought. I dwell too much on the bad stuff sometimes, and that makes me think everything is bad. But I'm coming to realize that's just not true.
 
I feel stupid. I got very anxious and hypervigilant due to distorted thoughts that just kept getting bigger and bigger. And my thoughts distorted so much that it got very hard to stop them. I wound up getting so anxious I was shaking. And I ended up asking a friend of mine out of fear and anxiety based on distorted thoughts that if what I thought I was seeing was right or not. I hate doing that because it's so unfair to do to my friend. It's not my friends fault that I can't always tell the difference between what I see and what I think I see. I feel terrible.
 

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