What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[EverOnly358]

EverOnly - Your kindness is so apparent. It is so helpful to get feedback and to know somebody out there understands and empathizes. My son's actions, particularily hanging up the phone on me, are "NO-NO's" in my book. But as I said, his behavior was a-typical. So you don't think I'm someone I'm not, however, (due to being assulted) I no longer put effort into having a relationship with my daughter. Anyhoo, I sure could relate to what you're experiencing today, EverOnly. And I hope things smooth out for you.

I think I knew that about your daughter. I'm so sorry everything is so complicated... but I'm actually proud of you for protecting yourself from someone who is abusive to you! That's so important, but it must be so difficult as well. Lots of hugs :hug:, if you'd like them. You deserve to be treated kindly and with respect, from everyone! Good for you for understanding that. :) And I would have just paid the car bill, too. It's just not worth arguing over again and again, or taking a chance of it doubling again! Thanks for your kind words to me as well, they mean a lot. :joyful:

Thank you @EverOnly358 for your kind words. I hope your day goes well! No one has any right to blame you for anything if life doesn't go the way they would like. They have free will. We can only do the next right thing. I know the feeling though!

I know you're right... and they shouldn't blame me, and mostly they don't... it's really my problem. I want everyone to be happy and everything to be fair, and most days I can even manage that... but sometimes things get so screwed up and complicated and well... those are the days that I struggle with so much! Thank you for the reminder though... those are words I really needed to hear! :)

What am I feeling? :cautious:

Well... I'm feeling kinda crappy. :shy: I managed well enough yesterday and tried my best to balance everyone's needs and desires and the calendar and the to do lists and competing priorities and whatnot. I did okay and stayed calm. The day was sort of crazy, but no one was unhappy. The thing is... all the stress caught up with me. It's like I can deal with a normal, calm day... one that goes according to plan, but if there's any additional stress AT ALL... well, then, I just can't handle it. Something has to give. I was calm and good yesterday... understanding about things being off-track and crazy... but today I woke up with a terrible sore-throat and a cough and a cold. I really think it's because I overdid it yesterday. :confused: That's the thing with my PTSD at the moment... everything is fine as long as everything is fine. If one thing out of the ordinary happens... I have NO reserves and few ways to cope.

So today... I made sure I did everything I had to do and all my responsibilities are covered and now I'm resting. I had hot tea and oatmeal for breakfast, and hot soup and apple wedges for lunch (an apple a day keeps the doctor away, LOL!). This is a huge big deal! I'm taking care of myself and making sure others take care of me, too. Progress! :D That's what I'm trying to focus on, anyways. ;)

Otherwise, I'm feeling okay. I'm trying to remind myself everything does not have to be perfect. :playful: Good enough is good, too. It's really hard to drill that into my stubborn head, though. :rolleyes:

:eek: Oh, and I'm feeling kinda bad because this post is so long. ;)

 

[EverOnly358]

Thank goodness that my sense of humour is returning and that it is a stellar cast type of sense of humour. Can I do it? Of course I can! But Will I Do It?

You will do it! I believe in you, definitely! :joyful: I'm glad your sense of humor is resurfacing. I think it's the #1 best thing to have when fighting to overcome PTSD!

Can you calmly, without blaming anymore point out the complications that occurred today, explain how that changed the planned program? Hear what people are saying perhaps do some reflective listening. Then ask for some problem solving - what suggestions would you have to prevent things going haywire if you had to handle this situation

This is really good advice, and I need to do more of this in the future. I tried to do something like this... I asked the people around me to help solve the scheduling dilemmas so that it wasn't all on me, and so they had a better understanding of which things would happen and which wouldn't because of all the changes in plans. It worked out okay. I think the real problem is I put too much pressure on myself trying to make things perfectly good all the time. Just because things are so-so or okay, doesn't mean things are bad. Someday I'll be able to convince myself of this! :rolleyes: I agree with you @Ms Spock, it's exhausting fighting all the wrong voices in our heads! I'm with @franciemarnie, I'm going to try and lie down and rest for a bit. ;)

 

[ms spock]

Frustrated that people forget that we all live different time zones.

Said I would reply on the next day - Tuesday and the other person cut me out of the conversation at 4pm Tuesday my time which didn't even give me a chance to reply on the Tuesday as I said I would. I hadn't even gotten back from Sydney.

 

[franciemarnie]

@Ms Spock - that would frustrate me!! I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to reply.

I was very tired today, but when I lay down for a nap I knew the fatigue masked something - some feeling but what? Sometimes hard to identify. Sadness. Anger. Aggression. Worked out. It's my number one way to change the stress hormones if there is no other action I can take.

Feel lighter. Not grossly fatigued.

@EverOnly358 - Did you get some rest? I hope so!

 

[DMerish]

Frustrated that people forget that we all live different time zones.

I get this a lot!!!

One of my job responsibilities is getting executives that are all over the world to sign documents (via email) and send them back to me so I can submit the documents to the U.S. Federal government before the date they are due. If the docs are late, the company I work for gets fined. This part of my job is required at the beginning of every new quarter (that's now). I've worked 62.5 hours since Monday.

How am I feeling today? Tired/Physically exhausted, and I'm beginning to get grumpy because so tired :cautious:

 

[franciemarnie]

@DMerish - That's over 15 hours a day working!!!!!! You've got to get some rest. I'd be biting heads off. Oy.

 

[DMerish]

@franciemarnie - Yep, twelve hours today (I'm just taking a little break now). I've got about two more hours tonight. Thankfully, there's a lot of flexibility with my job at other times and the company is generous with time off . . . nearly seven weeks of paid vacation, holidays and sick leave. I like what I do, and I'm pretty happy with my job at all other times ;)

 

[franciemarnie]

That's cool then @DMerish - you know what you're doing. It actually sounds like it could be fun. I kind of liked a job I had once that required 12 hour days sometimes. The deadlines worked with my adrenalin flooded system! Plus I would come home truly tired.

Seven weeks vaca? OMG!!! That would be heaven. Certainly like no place I ever worked.

 

[ms spock]

@EverOnly358, it's sometimes completely exhausting fighting all the negative thoughts in our heads!

 

[franciemarnie]

I am feeling tired, sad, drained.

But the brief emotional maelstrom passed within. That's real good.

Slightly content after watching John Candy movie.

Glasses and hearing aids too heavy. I am sensitivio after emotional stuff comes thru.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling a little bit better and managing my emotions a little bit better.

Got really stressy and thingy when I got to the beach. Thought it through a bit. Did have a few moments of enjoyment at the beach. I haven't been allowing myself any enjoyment in my life, so feel good about that progress.

 

[ms spock]

Happy to be going away overnight. Be back tomorrow or the next day. Stay safe.