What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Philippa]

Feeling pretty triggered and a little sickened from reading posts on the estranged page I am a member of, by a woman who keeps trying to push the idea that it is not really the parents that are the problem, but often the children who are toxic, and the "poor parents" are really the innocent victims...she's a parent of course, and her daughter has estranged from her ( I can't imagine why).

Feeling like a white hot ball of fury is burning in me. It just comes up now and then, and I've been triggered a lot lately. I need to sleep, but I am having trouble pulling away from the screen. Hate this internet addiction onset.

 

[Hope4Now]

Externally fine. Can walk a little again without crutches (I'm used to the limping and pain but not the complete inability). I am at work. Working on book, getting ready for meeting, etc. Got through the lecture I gave last night. Inside I am in chaos. Can you say, "How many forms of dissociative behavior can one person have in a day?" The worst of it is that the suicidal ideation is back. I haven't had this for many years. I know I will not kill myself, but the intrusive thoughts of it are freaking me out. I know it is yet another form of dissociation, but it's a painful one. My self-torturer is more hyperactive than usual and I cannot quiet it. I feel crazy that I can feel this way and nobody knows. It's like being two people.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Feeling sad and frustrated with my game I was playing on my I Pad air. My whole town disappeared and I could not access it. I reported it to the site and they are having technical difficulties. I hope I get my town back because I would hate to start all over again. I had weird dreams last night, but I do not remember them, so I am happy about that.

One of the cats slept with me last night and took a long nap on my lap this morning and I am getting attached to her. I am feeling pretty good about that.

I am having a good day, all things considering.

Hugs to all that need them.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling a lot of emotion yesterday and last night. It was intense.

Feeling tired and wiped out today.

 

[billie]

I am feeling calm but I can feel anxiety in the background. I shall listen to my meditation cd before I leave for Dr app.

 

[Deleted member 10686]

I feel very uneasy, that's all I really know. I feel down in an anxious, unsettling way.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling wiped out - maybe I am feeling discharged of emotion and grounded. I am more here.

 

[roaminggnome]

I am calmer today. A little bit anyway. I am feeling exhausted though as I am sick. I got a lot accomplished today. I am up in the air about being my father's caregiver. He is one of my abusers and the last thing I want to be doing is caring for him. So I have tons of mixed emotions on this one but am stuck as the only one available to care for him. I want to scream "this isn't fair when do I get my own life!"

 

[EverOnly358]

@EverOnly358 - LOL! Re pain in the butt. Actually the dif between sciatica and Piriformis is that I have no pain when I walk - only sitting and lying down. But I like to do squats and lunges to keep my power core and that hurts to do, and is a pain in the butt! It is another challenge which now doesn't bug me so much. I like finding ways to transcend the system.

Hahaha! I'm glad you got the joke... because after the fact I was thinking I took it a little too far. I really do have the stupid sense of humor of like a 9 year old. ;) LOL! :wtf: Hey, years ago, I fell down some stairs (total accident... I'm a klutz) and I landed on my tailbone. It was kinda like you... I couldn't sit or lay down or stand without pain. Nothing worked to ease the pain, including like just about every prescription pain killer on the market. In the end, chiropractic stuff worked (maybe that's an option for you?). But it went on for months and months and it totally SUCKED. I so feel for you!! :hug: I really hope you feel better soon. And yeah, I'm like you, I think, I refuse to let anything stop me for long. I always find a way to do what I want. :tup: Be well.

@EverOnly358 Your husband sounds like a very smart and kind man. It's okay to feel feelings, all of them exist for a reason, even those 'bad' ones. Thank you for reminding me. Hugs to you too, and a mug of cocoa with marshmallows and everything.

He is! Thanks for your kind words! :happy: The hot beverages are a great idea... I've been drinking tea and hot chocolate these last couple days. Thanks so much for the idea.

@therisa, I'm so sorry about your friend. And the waiting, it's so difficult. {{{Holding your hand while you wait.}}} Hang in there. :hug:

I feel crazy that I can feel this way and nobody knows. It's like being two people.

Glad at least to hear you survived the lecture! Hopefully things may calm down a bit now? I know that feeling where inside I'm a mess but outside I seem to be fine, and everyone thinks I must be fine. It's so hard to deal with. Hang in there, and take lots of time for yourself (whenever you can) and be compassionate to yourself. You're doing so much! Be well. :hug:

:hug: Hugs to all. Hang in there! Oh, and @Definitely..maybe and @Ninja... it's always so nice to see folks having good moments, too. May everyone have some good days soon and may the good times last and last! :happy:

 

[EverOnly358]

What am I feeling today? :cautious:

I'm feeling the need to keep this short... or at least try! :alien:

I'm feeling okay. A little tired, a little annoyed, a little upset because of flashbacks and memories and things coming to the surface... but overall, okay, almost content. :joyful:

I'm still feeling freezing and starving all the time! This is so annoying! I know, know, know it's the past rearing it's ugly head... but I'm over it already! :mad: Breathe in, breathe out. :confused: I'm taking some time to reassure and comfort my inner children. Remind myself that this is just a feeling and the feeling will pass. I feel sorry for poor little young me... she went through all this, but it was so bad, she had to dissociate it all away. Now I've got to feel it for her. And that's cool. Anything to make her feel better and not have to go through so much is okay with me. PTSD is so complicated. :unsure:

 

[ms spock]

Did well for most of today. Bone crushingly insecure and anxious now at home. But did better for most of today. So pleased with that.

I have settled a bit now. I am looking at a Dialectical Behaviour Therapy video of Radical Acceptance now. It is helping.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling like I did much better today.