What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Sweets]

I feel worried......that I may never be comfortable with Ptsd.
I feel scared.......that I will end up hurting my family.
I feel sad...........because I DO know I will always have to deal with it.
I feel guilt and anger....because I let myself get like this.

and I feel strong....because no matter how much it bears down on me...I've gotta stay strong.

 

[Shoka]

I feel worried, my sufferer is seeing his therapists and sometimes this triggers him.
I feel anxious about seeing him tonight when he gets home.
I feel excited about becoming a mother
I feel nervous about becoming a mother

 

[cat]

Tired but happier than I've been for a long time. Tired because I returned to work this week after 14mths sick leave. Happier because I've decided to be, its time to put my past traumas behind me & enjoy my 'new' life. I know it will be different but with the help I've got I can do it. Isn't it amazing how psychologists plant these positive thoughts in your head & then they pop back up three weeks later!

 

[fin]

Depressed and afraid

 

[amethist]

Total relief that i can now stand back and let the professionals help my husband move forward and that they will always be on hand in a crisis.

All i have to do now is support him and look after myself more while all this happens.

Amethist

 

[fin]

KNow you are lovely so.... very lovely Amethist really very and truely lovely and I very much admire you thankyou I believ is perhaps long overdue for all the help and the loving support you have been and shown to others. Please know this, please know you are very lovely.

I am feeling tired and weery but I am feeling perhaps better than I was and that is perhaps what I need to take it to the bridge ... I have been stirred awake and every word has been pain a long time and yet here I am still typing, because soi far this has been what has worked and to live in fear of putting my self and my words out there is to deny the fact and belief that I have that this worksvinin

I was once an artistic visionary perhaps

 

[trapped]

This is a hard one for me to admit, but... Angry.

Of all the emotions, that one seems the least okay to have for some reason, that makes it extra hard to admit.

I'm angry at myself for hurting my shoulder yesterday, when it probably could have been avoided had I listened to my body more.

I'm angry that my plans have changed for this weekend- I was going to meet up with a new friend tomorrow afternoon, but instead she called me when I was out for a run this afternoon, to move it to today. I was distracted and wanted to get back to my run, so I just agreed. I didn't think about the impact it would have on me and how much stress it would add, and felt like I had to say yes, and I'm angry at myself for not considering what is best for ME.

I'm angry that my roommate is playing her flute and it's bringing up all kinds of stuff for me, and I don't know what to do about it. It's just that I used to play, up until my grandpa died, and her playing the flute is bringing up a lot of memories of him, as well as some other stuff... and it's overwhelming me right now, but I don't know what to do about it. I'm not sure if I'm angry at the situation, or at her (but that would be irrational, since it doesn't make sense to be angry at someone just cuz she's playing an instrument- and it makes even less sense cuz if it were any other instrument, I'd be fine right now), or if I'm angry at myself for having the reaction I'm having.

 

[fin]

Anger is a difficult emotion trapped and I am sorry you feel this way. :Hug_emoticon:

I feel safe today safe that there are people that care about me and I know that they are closer than at first appear :rolleyes: To ALL that have gone before I thank that you gave a d*** for me

I hope that my feelings didnt interfere or get in the way with the rationale of everyone here it is bad day sometimes

It isnt easy living with ptsd is isnt easy being or having to live moderatly and just the feeling that you are out of control or going to be sometimes is enough to send my emotions sky rocketing it helps to not live beyond your/my means maybe I need to take that on board or/and on the chin too also because I need to be important to me to..

Thankyou~

 

[fin]

More accepting perhaps of my being disappointed by myself. But hopeful also. A little encouraged too, I fell badly , and now I'm getting back up -not fast but I'm doing it- it is slow - I'm doing it though and I do think I am somehow learning to manage some part of me better than before I was off line for sure.

More accepting perhaps of my disappointment in myself. I dont feel angry at all right now because I understand and know myself a little better - just a little tired still by and of so much of everything that has happened recently. I feel safe, Very safe here. Thankyou for this. I have felt let down somewhat by myself , this is important I think working and knowing or rather recognising feelings and emotions, and I know back last December I couldnt see anything at all or recognise what some feelings were, so this is great improvement also.

I am not so disconnected so much any longer. I do feel a little exasperated at myself at what I have forgotten since arriving here (I have been working on this very hard). I actually cant believe how side tracked I let myself become in this last month-6 weeeks but I am not going to beat myself up about it any more than I already have done- so a little incredulaous also in some ways, and accepteing also. A little stupid by some of my choices .

Yesterday is over and tomorrow is not begun yet. I still have time for things to change. I have been re-reading a lot and I am staggered perhaps at how far I have been able to move forward in my life and here. I know I wouldnt even be able to comtemplate somethings if it weren't for working and learning here. Thankyou again to this forum for allowing me the opportunity to get managing myself. So grateful also, extremely grateful, because this forum has saved my life.

So hopeful now, hopeful I can hopefully add to the list here of feelings I have now today. ~ I could try for more but I dont want to tempt overdoing it again. (so a little aprehensive then also)

( this thread if you try really hard not to get all or nothing well this thread in really helps) I still feel a bit whooshy but whooshy is ok right now.~

 

[trapped]

I think I feel anxious... no, definitely anxious, because I've been having crazy intense anxiety attacks. My therapist says anxiety stems from fear. But I don't know what I'm afraid of, or what I'm anxious over. It's also been pointed out to me that "overwhelmed" and "anxious" are my catch-all terms for basically all emotions... because I was severely beaten for ever showing sign of emotion as a child, any emotion makes me feel anxious... so that's usually one aspect, but I'm having trouble figuring out the core emotion underlying that anxiety. Perhaps lonely... or frustrated... or... disappointed. Yeah, I think disappointed. Disappointed that I can't identify my feelings as clearly today as I did yesterday. Disappointed because I feel like I have to make a big decision by tomorrow, and either way I'll feel like a failure regardless of which of the two options I choose. And stressed, because of this week and all the big decisions to come in this week, and of the 4th of july getting closer each day, and of having so much uncertainty in my life right now.

 

[Anton]

It's 12:32 PM and I feel great. :smile:

 

[amethist]

Today was supposed to be the first day when i could have a few hours to myself in my own home.

But no as usual, the best laid plans and all that crap out the window again.

Why,

NHS CHUFFING CUT BACKS AGAIN BLASTED MPS WANT HANGING.

Sorry folks but it gets right up my nose.

All set to go so he rings his day unit to order taxi through them, they pay as it is the only way i can get him there. To be told sorry no can do, we have been told no taxis to be used, but when Tom, Dick or whoever is free we will come and collect you should be about half an hour. An hour and a half later he rings back, "oh sorry" they say driver still in a meeting so hubby says dont bother will leave it till monday.

So what am i feeling fed up, second best and please dear kitty stay out of the way as the doberman is coming out to play, as we have now found out there may not be any more transport laid on at all.

We have no car, he can't uses public transport and i can't afford £100 a week taxi fares.

They will ring us tomorrow if they can sort something out.

If not back to square one, him lossing his mind and me following.

So what am i really feeling.

Like we have been dumped not from a great hight but from outer space.

Amethist