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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Optimistic day as I accomplished things. Anxiety and dread as distrust, fear and a certain fear of a possible reality hit this afternoon; I just don't know yet.

Then, the escalating anxiety which I acknowledged and took ever so careful baby-steps through, but it was emotionally painful. That pain turned to moderate anger which I suppressed, which made me further want to withdraw.

And then with chooses and decisions I contradicted the negative emotions trying to get the best of me and I was honesty outspoken. But, I both witness all the time and so fear that countless people don't really want to hear such honesty; In my opinion, they are the sometimes frightenly delusional, deeply weak spirited, the pretenders, the one's in hiding from many things.

So, I will not do that again. In fact, I will not participate another day in my own retraumatization. .........This is all about earlier this evening.

Now for the present, I feel miserably sad and afraid. Feel depressed.
 
What I'm feeling today is

confused
anxious
fed up
cold
tired
numb
happy
confused again..........

but determined not to give up. It seems the more recovery I make the more my mood changes or is that just because I can recognise what I'm feeling now.
 
I feel

defeated and useless
isolated and disconnected
wrapped up inside myself
anxious and unsafe
sick of my own internal whining about how I feel
extremely, extremely angry (but even my anger feels flat and disconnected)

BUT, I also feel:

A little bitty ray of hope and light because, each time I come to this forum, I see the strength and tenacity of others to survive regardless of how they may be feeling at any given moment and I also learn a little something new about myself and my own journey towards balance.

Thank all of you for continuing to share.
 

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