Yes, having to put down an animal you love is very painful. So sorry about that.
Ok, how an I *feeling* ? Well, Mr. Cast Iron Skull had to think about that...a while. Hmmm, let's see *feelings*...?
I think I feel slightly disgusted, but that's normal when I haven't had a swim in a couple days: weekends = mass crowds = me no swim. Overall tho, I feel pretty good for someone only 11 days out of neurosurgery. Well over the pain threshold, and am sciatica free: that is similar to someone saying "the 727 jet that was parked on my leg is gone".
I feel good about that, and am sorta dazed wondering how badly my brain got beat up during the epic. Hard to say. Brains may be "overrated", anyway :-)
PITA, that brain O mine...
Am evaluating just how trashed my left leg in particular got from the sciatica. Am pleased my system is normalizing post surgery (the constipation was/is pretty bad). Called a Rolfer today so I can set a schedule for about a month from now - no way will the muscles balance out without it, left leg muscle groups like scrambled eggs.
I do feel lucky, too. Lucky to be here, lucky and grateful for the modest resources that sustain me. I feel very lucky for the place I live, an amazing landlord (he's a terrififc artist and trauma survivor, 72 yo) and neighbor.
So yes, a bit off kilter, but overall I feel good and hopeful. Just have a pervasive lo-level "malaise?" or disgust about the usual, ruminations about the trivial: why can't I buy groceries with out being asked if I "rent or own"? Why can't I buy gas without being asked if I "work for someone else, or for myself"? Why didn't the staff at the pool tell me Sat Am, that the pool itself was closed *before* I paid?
These and other mysteries folks...here in...the Twilight Zone. ;-)
