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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I am feeling anxiety and totally fed up. There is very little that can be done about my bad reaction to Zyprexa. My legs are really swollen and the pain is severe. My joints are creaking and cracking. I can't stay in one position long enough to sleep. I'm trying tramadol for the pain because the motrin caused an IBS flare and the tylenol with codeine only took the edge off the pain. I can't take prednisone because I get suicidal on it. Nothing can ever be easy. I'm so fed up. I see my pdoc tomorrow and I want to tell her off for so many things.
 
Right now: angry, confrontational, not in a good place to talk to people. Like I've wasted this day avoiding what I need to do and instead unneccesarily upset myself finding a poem I wrote a few years ago. Felt grief, sadness, that quickly switched to plain p***ed off at the world and all the people in it.
 
Today I'm feeling insecure I guess you could say. But at least I have realized something today. I'm feeling insecure because I have realized that the reason why I tend to not share my struggles/issues with others even the ones I love is because it has taken me so long and so much work to not judge myself for having PTSD and feeling ashamed for having PTSD that when I share my struggles/issues and I don't feel validated by those I love then I feel like all the work that I have done on not judging myself slowly is being destoryed because when I don't feel validated then I all the different negative thoughts towards myself for having PTSD come back and those negative thoughts feel like they are validated.
 

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