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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

So sorry for your beloved cat passing notsosurewheretoturn. i hope the comfort of having her with her good memories returns to you after you have grieved. I am still missing one of my dogs that passed and it has been years. 18 years is a long time to have a cat live so you must have taken really good care of her. please take comfort in that thought.

i woke up feeling down and am puzzled as to why because I did not find the underlying thought that was causing the mood. I am beginning to feel better. I feel tired from all of my errands yesterday. i feel nervous about getting more applications for a job filled out. It kinda hangs over my head like a dark cloud not having a job. I do not feel good about this at all.
 
Thank you all for your kind words. It still hurts so much, and yes, I am still in floods of tears. The grief I am feeling is just beyond words.

Taking my beautiful little darling to the vets to be cremated was one of the hardest things I have had to do, I have asked that she be cremated in her favourit blanket (an old dressing gown of mine) and that she be scattered in the gardens. She died at home as I couldn't get her vet to even answer the telephone to aid her. Watching her slowly die over the course of a couple of hours, and feeling so helpless was horrendous, but I understand that she had to leave, that her poor little body was just worn out. And I hope that one day we will be together again, all of us.

Her sister, and sparing partner, who is sat beside me now is also lost. Looking for her in all the familiar places and finding nothing but emptiness.

I have found a photograph of her which I am going to get framed next week with the dates underneath, I haven't had the heart to move her basket as it would feel like I was stripping her from my home and I just cannot do that.

Below is her photograph, taken when she was in her mischievous prime. I'll see you in my dreams my darling.
[GALLERY=media, 1931]TC by notsurewheretoturn posted Jul 16, 2015 at 8:21 PM[/GALLERY][GALLERY=media, 1931]TC by notsurewheretoturn posted Jul 16, 2015 at 8:21 PM[/GALLERY]
 
I am feeling misty eyed... the dreaded combination of self doubt about my ability to assess and identify "right/just/fair" actions and being vulnerable with people who are scared/grieving/depressed. Made some recent progress. Able to tell peeps "I love/care about you", hug or kiss them on the cheek...being vulnerable is HARD.

Ran into my old chief... open heart surgery... in front of a peer from another forum here "Gal from Gainesville"... hugged him was genuinely glad to take time to acknowledge him and tell him I was so glad about his progress... she (who has known me a long time... at least a couple years before this forum gave me my space)... heck I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek to. Just for the heck of it. I feel like I'm cracking the lid on my "need" to be in a bubble and that I can allow certain people "in". If that makes any sense at all.
 
Kinda hard to know what I'm feeling. I stood up for myself, or at least did some self-care for myself, and then I feel so much guilt, like I did something wrong.

A situation happened and I realized that I needed to walk away from it, and then at the same time, I don't like how uncomfortable I feel in taking the action. I will need some time to work through all what I am feeling right now.
 

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