What Bad Shit Have You Done - Daily, As it Comes To You, Your Past, Lets Be Honest

[goingonhope]

I was extremely isolated, alone and withdrawn in 8th grade and that last post just reminded me of a bunch.
In 8th grade I:
...did some rotten things let's leave it at that.

 

[anthony]

Hope, don't feel shy, this thread is about being honest with ourselves, and letting ourselves and others know, that even know we have done bad things in our lives, that does not mean we haven't learnt from our mistakes. Jon described it so well above, about our past being our past, and that is not who we are now, but we still have it, and hopefully have learnt from it.

When I was also still in grade 8, me and a mate shot up my next door neighbours house and car with our air rifles. Yes, very stupid thing, but then we did not think, nor did we think anyone was home. The wife and little toddler was home, both hiding in the kitchen thinking they where going to get shot. We shot up the side of his car, his power box and put a few slugs into the house. Obviously we knew slugs weren't going to go through the house, because they don't have enough power, only air, but we didn't think much past that at the time.

Once again, we both ended up in the cop shop and I got grounded for a year. It was the only time my dad actually made a grounding stick for me, and man did it stick, till the year date.

 

[goingonhope]

In 8th grade I:
Stopped eating lunch and going to the school caf, instead I hid in the girls bathroom and stalls ...so feeling what I imagine was anger, fear and jealousy I would leave the girls bathroom and locate many unlocked lockers, steal essential school notebooks from A students and drop them in a hidden location in between the metal walls of the bathroom stalls.

During lunch or another available time I also once went from one class to my next classroom, located teacher's grade books, located proper pen and pen eraser and carefully altered failing grades to passing grades and fair grades to much improved grades.

I also skipped something I was suppose to be doing to discover and visit a secret room behind the far curtains on the school stage, up a metal ladder, beneath a furnace and presto there was there hidden (magical) room, where nobody could get to me. I visited it on a half dozen occassions.

 

[nov_silence]

I am proud of you for sharing, GoingonHope

 

[Deleted member 93]

I had an abortion I ever so regret and never will forgive myself for... I had gone and sought out a man who was a cop after I broke up with my husband who was a cop. He looked just like him, on purpose. The kids were allowed to meet him twice. They were surprised as it looked just like their step-dad. I was still very emotionally needy or thought so to this man(ex#3).

This guy Pampered me to no end. He would get angry if I lifted a finger in his home, did not want me to work... He was a vice president of a county union for the department. OK I learned I was a toy and candy. He hired a maid and left a note not to go past his office if I was there. He paid my bills and the whole 9 yards, so I guess he wa a sugar daddy too... Not what I was looking for just a replica of an ex I thought I could not face the world with out as he had taught me.

He started to get violent, taking BS from work out on me. He wanted to have a baby and never hid that but said he could not... Yes big dumbass coming in loud and clear now thank you.

We had been in a fight, pretty much him coming after me, I locked myself in a bathroom. I heard him leave and come back being calm. I heard a clicking noise. I have no idea, could have been a zippo lighting a smoke. But in my mind and still I felt it was the cocking of a gun real slow. I crawled up in the sink and told him I would come out when he left. (His house) he left and I grabbed my purse and keys and hauled ass. The only time I can recall drinking and driving I was so scared he would shoot me. I called my ex (I forgave after rape) to meet me on a back road to "lead me in". So If I hit a car it would be his...

I came back with my current husband he knew I was dating him and not wanting to "settle down" and my dad I still spoke with to get my few things from there.

After that I found out I was pregnant. I did not think there was a chance of it being hubs as it did not line up, but this guys lying seemed real possible. The idea of being stuck with another nut like my first ex was more than I could handle, and even my Catholic family supported it.

I Was so ill going in. My baby sis fed me valium just to get me in the door like candy. And of all the f*ing people to be there with his girl friend whose appt was at the same time so we sat in recovery together... My first and most evil ex. It has never come up. We acted like we did not even see each other even thhough his girlfriend tried to talk to me.

I was one who paid to be knocked out. As the lady was preping for putting me out I said NO. I can't. (I had always been pro choice until there) I tried to sit up and she said something in response I do not recall. I do know I said no I can't do this. Next thing I know I wake and the baby gone.

I almost killed myself, Hubs not a serious thing at the time, casually dating, cared for me, fed me pain killers, alcohol, valium... Anything for me not to flip out. He is angry and regrets it too as he took me. It is a heavy burden we both have... We feel guilty for the baby we have now but felt we had it coming when I lost one after her. I held the tiny thing in my hand crying and we buried the fetus in our back field...

A very dark time for me and my husband. We went in as pro-choice and left as strong as a pro-life advocate as they come, us both. He held me for days while I cried I told them to stop.

 

[batgirl]

I am so impressed with how much you guys are all able to share... I wish I could share half as much. Unfortunately though I don't remember. I have quite a bit of memory loss actually. Just bits and pieces of events.

 

[goingonhope]

Things I have done that I am not proud of: UGH!

That list you created nov_silence, I certainly hope makes you feel proud of yourself for admitting and sharing. Not easy, huh...Not easy at all. This is a great example and you certainly have great courage and are following through with what anthony asked in creating this thread...for Honesty. Each time we share our mistakes and wrongs from the past we certainly make it easier for the next person to own, hopefully forgive and let go of, and do so to. Maybe this idea is not such a 'bad' idea after all.

Here goes more very poorly judged chooses, decisions and wrong doing, in my past, on my part: 6th Grade:

Freind and I rolled a rubber tire down a large hill and into the direction of someone's deck.

While allowed to work on art project alone in class during recess, I stole $60. from teacher's purse, later called my eldest sister from school to come and collect $20. of it for what I then assumed was for drugs.

During pad'a'lock demo in class I didn't return mine, instead stashed it, and teach later discovered it tucked hidden in my art project upon closet shelf. Very little was said.

....this feels almost sickening of me to continue adding to this along with the rest of you, as please nobody get me wrong, as I'm not proud of any of my anti-social wrongs and behaviors, and happy to have an over-developed conscious in my adult years.

 

[Nam]

1. lied to co workers so I could stay home "sick"
2. Made my father believe I ran away (14). I hid in the combine and camper all night.
3. Faked an injury for attention but it also landed me in the hospital (to treat fake injury)
4. Drowned kittens in the cow water tank.

 

[Deleted member 93]

I voted for Bush both times... First time I did not regret, second time I do... But they had him up against such nuts it was a hard choice.

 

[goingonhope]

10 yrs. old:
Stole $200. from my mother's boyfriends daughter, hid it behind poster in my room, and later had to get it and return it as mother's threats were to great a risk.

Took my sisters dress and cut it down to size to fit me.

Stole my sisters or mothers food stamps and went to the store and bought $60. of candy.

 

[Kells]

-Stole a peppermint patty from the 7-11 when I was around 5 or 6.. Couldn't even eat it I felt so bad.

-Lied to get out of appointments so I don't have to face anyone.

-Kept the years of molestation secret for the "sake" of my family members.. I still do this to this day, although I don't want to keep it secret anymore considering I have paid the highest price, my own sanity.

-I actually enjoy the thought of making my family uncomfortable in the highest degree if I were to finally blow this shit in the wide open like it should have been years ago.

-The only truly horrible thing I've ever done I am literally too embarrassed to put here where the entire internet can view it. It happened years and years ago... Let's just say that won't ever happen again.

 

[goingonhope]

-Stole a peppermint patty from the 7-11 when I was around 5 or 6.. Couldn't even eat it I felt so bad.

Kells, I wasn't going to comment but, when I ever saw this posted just below my (I stole my sisters or mothers food stamps and went to the store and bought $60. worth of candy), I cracked up laughing!

You reminded me of the very first thing I ever considered stealing and it was a piece of 2 cent candy from candy bins at the store. I was 5.

Kells, I have a sweet little 6 yr. girl that I hope never steals in her lifetime. If she does however, steal a piece of candy, she's none the less sweeter.

Now are you going to tell us what the one and truly only horrible thing you've ever done is so that the whole wide internet world can view it?
........................oh what's that? I'm hearing a voice.....I think you're saying,.............NO!
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

If that's so, then Perfectly Understandable!
Best to You, Kells...:hello: