What Bad Shit Have You Done - Daily, As it Comes To You, Your Past, Lets Be Honest

[Deleted member 93]

If you say you used restraint I believe you. One of the few I have grown to trust! Big step. Have the police officer ex hubs... Yeh, I know one strike can cause serious damage if intended first hand, but you know that too. I think I will be letting my diary back more "public" as I am losing some of the guilt and embarrassment now. Just have to remove my real name from the posts... Sorry guys if Anthony is the only one who get's it at the moment what I am talking about on that one.

 

[GR-ass]

I gave one of my nephews a black eye when he jumped out at me and scared the shit out of me.

I just reacted,pure fear. He was maybe seven.

He hasn't tried scaring me since. It was pure reflex, but I feel as guilty as hell. All he could say to me after was 'Aunty cass, you don't like being scared, do you.'

 

[batgirl]

I am going to put this here, and many women may not like it, but I think I showed control...

I have hit a women once in my life, and only once.

I don't like any hitting of anybody, regardless of gender. However in this instance I think this woman really provoked you! If the police had been around to see it, especially the military police, she would have been charged with assault. Maybe even sexual harrassment. If the tables were turned and she was the man and you were the woman, she would have gone to jail, no question. And if a guy was making advances like that on me, I wouldn't hesitate to hit him! Actually I really admire your restraint, I'm not sure I would have controlled myself much in that circumstance.

I think some women are real bitches and take advantage of the "rule" that a man is not supposed to hit a woman... sounds like this woman was one of those. I wouldn't have said sorry, either. I'm getting angry just thinking about it lol. I don't really think you did anything wrong.

 

[Jet]

We used to steal from my step dad. For years he went around telling his friends and family that we stole from him but it wasn't true. Eventually we figured that if people were going to believe it we might as well do it. He would pass out at night and we would sneak in and jack his wallet.

After I gave up my girls I went back to my abuser. His girlfriend was pregnant but had no interest in having a baby. One day he looked at me and said "but you know how I am with small children". We weren't "together" but I raised his baby for the first two years of her life and put up with his abuse the entire time.

Jet

 

[Nam]

I used to hang out with a group of people in high school that would engage in fainting. One person would bend over at the waist and deep breathe for a full minute? and then stand up abruptly and have someone wrap their arm around their neck and squeeze. This would cause a black out from a few seconds to a few minutes long. We'd take turns. I wonder how many brain cells I lost on that one....

 

[lumberjack]

Intresting thread but some secerts , i believe should stay in my closest. I never would say its easy being good. Sometimes you have to do bad things to have a good outcome..Just my feeling..besides that i couldnt tell all of them it would take me way to long.Find the ten comandments its a good list to start with and i have broken more than a few.....mj

 

[anthony]

Know what your saying MJ.

Made fake id's when younger to get into clubs, pubs, alcohol, etc etc. School id's are the easiest to fake...

 

[kimG]

Anthony, never made a fake ID for myself, but did acquire one from the MVA of New Jersey. It was a MVA-issued "Boat" license; the only difference between it and a driver's license was a "B" above my name. But who knew? All I had to do was fill out the application and get my picture made...they never checked a birth certificate or any other type of ID. Actually, I guess it wasn't really fake at all, since it was issued by a government body! Got me into some really good places, too.

:occasion:<smiling at those memories> :rolleyes::loopy::thumbs-up

 

[nov_silence]

Still want to hurt things that are vulnerable. Went to sleep instead of physically lashing out. Scared to have kids.

 

[batgirl]

I said earlier I couldn't remember much bad that I've done, but my aunt just reminded me of some things, and then that triggered some memories of my own...

I used to steal other kid's candy at school and eat it during recess, and punch the other kids if they tried to take the candy away from me. I guess it was quite a chronic problem as my parents had to be called in about it.

When my brother was about a year old (I was 11 at the time), I used to give him stuff he wasn't supposed to have, then tell my stepmum, and she'd take it away from him. I liked seeing him get upset and cry when the item was taken away.

My grandparents had a farm with sheep and other animals. I used to tease the sheep, trying to get them to run at me, in front of the closed barn door. Then at the last minute I'd jump out of the way, and the sheep would crash their heads into the door. They'd do it over and over again and never learn. Sheep are really dense.

About 5 years ago, when I first came to live here, I felt depressed one night and went to emergency. The psychiatrist who saw me was kind of an idiot, said I was bipolar, gave me a prescription for lithium and let me go. I took the lithium to a rave and sold the pills individually and used the money to buy a bike.

 

[batgirl]

I thought of one other thing. It's not actually a bad thing but it's something I feel very queer about, like I'm a freak, and I've never told anyone. In fact I've lied about it on occasion. I'm still a virgin. I'm Catholic, and in highschool I was a lot more into being Catholic than I am now (now I don't even believe in God I don't think). Anyways I had signed a chastity pledge, to not have sex until I got married. Then soon after I graduated was the trauma in my family. Since then I've not made any friends, let alone gone on a date. So, I'm 25 now and still never done it.

 

[anonymous]

Hmmm. I used to self-medicate. I used to sneak my parents alcohol at night, and was good at not getting caught. I was a stoner for a bit:pot: . I would sneak any type of meds i could. Painkillers and such. Then i dont know why i stopped, maybe i guess i felt stupid doing it, and it was always by myself. blah...At least i still dont, or id probably be dead.:wall: