What Bad Shit Have You Done - Daily, As it Comes To You, Your Past, Lets Be Honest

[ISupportHer]

I drove 70 miles per hour in a 65 zone :(

:laugh:

 

[Seagreen]

Great thread. Some of the things I feel guilty about are:

Having an abortion.

Not speaking up when I saw mentally ill man publicly humilliated.

Using harsh words towards my kids.

 

[intothelight]

I put Ipecac in my ex's liquor bottle. I thought that maybe by getting sick he might quit. Weird part is, he never got sick......guess I didn't use enough.:confused:

 

[Lionheart]

I have done a lot of bad and stupid things in my time, but the one that bothers me most is this........

I repeated some of the BS that my perpetrators were feeding me to another younger male and it had a negative impact on him. I feel guilty of hurting him, but it was monkey see monkey do and I had no intentions of hurting him.

I later got to apologize and explain and make amends to him.

 

[Flossy]

I would often put myself to sleep daydreaming about smothering my elderly mother. I would include taking the pillow off intermittently to see the look of surprise on her face.

I would daydream about burning down my sister's house.

I would daydream about putting testosterone blockers into my second husbands coffee so his testicles would shrink. (yes there is such a medication)

All these daydreams gave me comfort.

I gave away my stepsons dog and told him it went missing. That's bad. He wasn't looking after him. I was not coping.

I had sex with my son's karate instructor on the beach as a one-night stand. It was good. Not good parenting. I was single. But I think it was a bad thing to do morally considering the connection to my son.

I told my niece that her father (my brother) tried to have sex with me until I was 13. I knew it was a bad thing to do. I wanted her to know what an asshole he has always been because she was only just trying to get people to listen to her about what an asshole he is. I added to the fuel. I told myself I was supporting her viewpoint. I was also sick of hiding his secrets. So it was vengeful against him as well. I should have had the guts to stand in front of him and yell at him to admit it in front of his wife and admit all the hookers he has used in his marriage.

What a fkd up family I had. I am still lonely for a family. Now I have my husband and our little dog. That's it. Nobody else.
I can rely on the dog to not fk me up, manipluate me, try to have sex with me, lie or betray me or have psychotic episodes and try to pass them off as Divine Events from God. (sister) Yay doggies. Gotta love them.

I cant think of anything else bad. I was always scared to be bad and didnt really ever want to do bad things. I stole some costume jewelery when I was a teenager. About $5 worth.

I had a small adventure as a private hooker for a couple of weeks because I was always fascinated with prostitution but I dont consider that a bad thing to do.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

There's a lot but I regret being verbally abusive to a hare krishna a few years ago.

Stealing, various things from various people. :banghead:

 

[Friday]

I've come back to this thread idk how many times over the past year. The easier question would be what bad shit haven't I done?

Lied, cheated, cheated, stolen, trespassed, assaulted, killed, haven't killed, overestimated, underestimated, broken promises, broken promises to a child, hurt on purpose, hurt on accident, been late, left people behind, haven't helped when I could have, disobeyed... List goes on. Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa.

The only upside I can possibly see out of being a monster is that I know I have no limits. There is nothing, given the right provocation, that I am unwilling or unable to do. So staying inside of any set of limits is a choice. I don't not do things because I cannot. I don't do them because I choose not to. Right or wrong, my actions are my own.

 

[Ronin]

I was almost about to make a thread, with the 'What bad shit you haven't done', but then I figured it wouldn't gain enough responses as not relevant to a larger number of people, even though I'm so (mix of emotions insert guilt insert rage insert headdesk No, I shouldn't fix it that way now) over it.

 

[Changing4Best]

I argued with my grandfather over my grandmother's death bed. She was dying and we all knew it. I just had to have the last word. Then I looked over at my grandmother and she had such a troubled look on her face, even though we had thought she was in a coma. We usually did not speak to him and he usually did not speak to us, that was usually how things went. I guess he was hurting too, just like the rest of us. I should have ignored him! My grandmother had always been the peacekeeper in the family. I loved her more than anyone else at that stage in our lives. She died that night. I'll never forget the look on her face the last time as we were leaving.

My grandfather had been my abuser and molester, when I was very young, but I had buried that completely. It did not come to light until I was much older and in therapy. If only I could take back those words....

 

[Forgetful]

I'll start with some of the easier stuff. There are some that I'm not ready to let out yet and not sure I ever will.
When I was 12 my dad had a stack of $50 bills on his desk. I didn't think he'd miss 1 so I took it. That night my brother, a friend and I camped out on my Aunt's porch. We got up early and walked a mile to the grocery store for breakfast then 1 1/2 miles to the lake. Between breakfast, entrance fee for the lake, lunch, snack, and beach toys we spent all of it (things were a lot cheaper then). We stayed there until dinner time - we didn't tell anybody where we were going! Shortly after we left the lake going back home my dad drove by and picked us up. He dropped my friend off (she was a neighbor) then when we got home we were sent to our rooms. I got my only spanking that night but what hurt more was he told me I was not allowed to see my friend for a month. I don't know why he said a month because we were getting ready to move to UK in 3 weeks. The money I took was the deposit from the guy who was renting our house for the 4 years we'd be gone. If my kids had just disappeared like that I'd have a nervous breakdown but things were different then.

My second year in England I was banned from Woolworth for shoplifting.

The 3rd year there my best friend (still today) did something (don't remember what) and we both had to see the school psychologist in the nearby city. We set up our apps for the same time (during the school day). After the apps we'd take another hour and go to the public pool before we went back to school.

French was a required class at that school and I had NO interest in learning it. So during my last year there I was playing hide & seek with the headmaster during that class. I'd go different places everyday but no matter where I went he'd find me and escort me to the class. Skipping class was a skill I started practicing the year before.

At 16 we moved back home and had 2 more years of school. By the time I graduated at 18 I had mastered the art of skipping class/school.

More to come some other day. I've got to go so I can welcome my grandson to the world. Yeay!

 

[mamachick]

Self Harm…..In one way or another. When I was 7, I stole pop bottles with my older cousin for the refund to go to the carnival. Big butt whipping, never again. I took a steno pad from work on a Sunday night for my daughters spelling, but replaced it as soon as I could. Im no saint, but I dont think thoughts count. I have been a less than good friend. let others down, etc. But not deliberately. The one consistant thing is self harm. I have abused alcohol when overly stressed. That didnt work. In 2009, under extreme stress and with someone screaming at me, I dropped the hot end off a cigarette onto my chest accidently (just months after trauma). First I jumped to get it, but as I felt the burn, the emotions were distracted. A few months later, attempted suicide. Couple years later, began burning and cutting and it relieves pain emotionally. I have bought into thhe guilt and shame. leading to self harm in various forms. Now I am trying to reparent myself but it is so hard..Just want pain to stop. and no control.

 

[Ronin]

Didn't tell close people how I am, but dangit, there was responsibility & helping them to be done first. Priorities.