What Changes After You Start Talking

[Quinn17]

This feels like I'm asking a simple question, but it's not.

Why talk about the details of trauma?
Why tell my therapist about the bad things?
What happens afterwards?
What changes?
Does my brain change?
Does more exposure correlate with less anxiety?
All I can think of is why?

A part of me doesn't want to do it because it's too dangerous to talk about bad things. Another part can't go on like this anymore. Major struggle. Civil war in my mind.

 

[Trace]

I see you have a lot of questions Quinn. I've had the same ones. We need to talk to a professional and tell them everything so that they can give us the right help. Therapy works well for some people, some not so well. But you may have to seek out other forms of therapy. If you want to get better and release this burden you are going to need a little help. You only have emotional freedom to gain, so what's the holdup?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi! I see you joined a year ago, so I'm guessing you've been struggling for awhile now? Your questions are good ones!

why talk about the details of trauma?

Well, it's not just talking about trauma that's beneficial. Yes, if you break the silence about the past, there can be a therapeutic effect, but the true healing comes from processing what happened to you. You can talk about your trauma until you're blue in the face, but if there is no processing, your healing will be limited.

why tell my therapist about the bad things?

Your therapist can help you best if s/he knows what you've experienced. If you're uncomfortable talking about it, then you could just say (or write) it in one sentence until you feel comfortable saying more.

what happens afterwards?

I'm a bit confused about what you mean by "afterwards"

what changes?
does my brain change?

Your brain won't change back to being like it was pre-trauma, but it can change for the better. This is a bit simplified, but what happens in our brains is that certain reactions, feelings, etc become entrenched in our minds. These are called neural pathways, and when we constantly react in a negative way, then these pathways are more likely to be used in the future. Kind of like a reinforcement of the negative stuff in our minds. With practice, we can actually change these neural pathways so that we don't automatically react in the same negative way. It takes work but yes, your brain can change.

does more exposure correlate with less anxiety?

In many cases, yes. But, it needs to be controlled as to not overstimulate and re traumatize you.

all I can think of is why?

I'm not sure why it works exactly, only that it does. I know that exposure therapy is what fixed my agoraphobia. I see so many people who shy away from what they fear and they only get worse. I had no choice but to face my fear and I credit my own version of exposure therapy for getting better. The same can be said for exposure therapy for PTSD.

 

[Hashi]

Hi @Quinn17,

I'd like to offer you support and encouragement for working through your trauma.

People have different views on talk therapy and exposure. Work on safety and containment is always needed. In my personal experience of psychotherapy, working with imagery like art and poems has been more helpful than a very direct (confrontational) approach.

At any rate, you might find this old thread helpful as a discussion of what changes when we do trauma work.
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/what-does-processing-trauma-really-mean.27858/

 

[Powder]

Quinn,

May I ask how long you have been in therapy with this particular Therapist?

I guess I need more information to feel like I get your question, which is a good one.

I hope you get some answers soon to it soon.

 

[Quinn17]

@Muse - I've been seeing my therapist for 5 years.

@Solara - I just am afraid that after I start talking that I won't be able to stop it all from coming out - thats what I meant by afterwards. Kind of wonder what will happen after it starts.


I also think I have a preoccupation with the process having a definite beginning and an end -- I guess I feel more in control. My therapist and I have been discussing dissociative disorder things - how that fits my situation or symptoms. I just feel like all of the process is happening in slow-mo and part of me is desperately trying to hold on. Then theres a tiny girl inside who is begging me to tell someone about it because it's becoming too much.

I call them orbs, they circle around my mind, sometimes in the front sometimes in the back. Most of the time, the orb who wants us to stay quiet is in front of my mind keeping things quiet. I know there are stories to tell but I think my brain is hiding them from me. I think the little girl knows about them and wants to tell.

..... :O_o:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Ahhhh gotcha.

I didn't have that sort of experience, so maybe others can give you better advice on the afterward part, and not letting everything out at once.

 

[Powder]

Wow, five years! Have you done EMDR or somatic work? With EMDR, the trauma work is contained in a window. That keeps it all from crashing out. You work on only one image or memory at a time and deal with what it is linked to. You also always end by grounding and putting a positive reframing of the experience to keep too much stuff from being pulled out afterwards.

From your questions, it sounds like your T. is having you talk about trauma just to talk about it. This sounds like exposure therapy, with possible CBT also. There is some evidence it helps, but I personally think it plateaus if processing the trauma is not also done. I'm no expert on it, but I think it involves much more creative and imaginative control of your own mind than just verbalizing the memory to someone. I think it involves completing or resolving the needs of the parts surfacing when they surface and you figure out what is needed to finish and give acceptance and closure to their experience and unmet need.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Is your therapist focusing on stabilizing your dissociative symptoms? Is this why you've been in therapy for so long but haven't gotten to the processing part yet? I don't mean to be intrusive, its just that 5 years is a long time to be in therapy without having done any processing yet. Then again, if your dissociative symptoms are significant, I understand.

 

[Hashi]

I just am afraid that after I start talking that I won't be able to stop it all from coming out - thats what I meant by afterwards. Kind of wonder what will happen after it starts.

Healing, maybe?

Having said that, I'm another who is wondering about the five years you've already spent with your therapist. Are they a trauma therapist?

Safety and containment are really important when doing trauma work (not just EMDR - you may or may not do EMDR as part of trauma work, it's up to the individual). A trauma therapist should understand about safety and containment. A regular therapist may not. That's why I ask.

 

[Quinn17]

@Muse , @Solara , & @Hashi

Before these 5 years with my current therapist, I was seeing another therapist for 9 years. I'm 28 - I started therapy when I was 14. My first therapist did really nothing but make things worse in the 9 years I saw her. After the switch I was finally able to get help for my eating disorder - was in the hospital twice - and have been chipping away at trauma ever since. While I appreciate where the questions are coming from -- I'm 200% sure that my therapist is qualified. As for different types of therapies, we do a lot of art therapy (which I love) and I do a lot of writing for her to read. Right now I'm too scared to do EMDR but she is trained in that and I am thinking about it.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I wasn't questioning the competence of your therapist. I was questioning your symptoms as a clearer picture helps those of us who are trying to advise you. I'm guessing you have significant dissociative symptoms and can't really help anyway as I don't know what that's like. I wish you the best.