What do I say - How to explain disassociation to someone?

[Dynamic]

How could I explain to someone that doesn’t understand dissociation?

I can let it go but I’m curious how you explain it to others who have no experience or “clue”

 

[Movingforward10]

I'm just wondering if I ever have....

Does the context matter for this? Like, is this a work context where adjustments might need to be made and they might need to be aware? Or a friend to help them understand what you're going through? Or explaining to a person offering you a service, whether that's a medical examination or something?
Because the explanation might be different in a different context?

 

[Dynamic]

Ok thanks so much @Movingforward10

This is a friend that is kind and gentle typically but doesn’t understand maybe how questioning about my personal self is stressing me out a lot a lot

I’m so sensitive and holding composure but I want them to understand if I’m close to a seizure I have lost mental capacity for conversation or small talk amongst other things

 

[Movingforward10]

Ah, that makes sense. If this is a friend I trust, then I would say exactly what you just said.

Thinking it through, I think when I've spoken to a friend or partner about disassociating, I haven't used that word but explained how I have just gone into a different place and no longer in the moment with them or whatever situation I was explaining about.

 

[arfie]

how you explain it to others who have no experience or “clue”

my most used cliche is, "please trust me. please let me trust my therapy network. i love you. thank you for being you in my life."

 

[Friday]

Disassociation is a normal human experience… so use daydreaming, “driving on autopilot” & not being devastated about the 61 MILLION deaths per year / +160 thousand deaths PER DAY… As that includes the 3 most likely sources of disassociation; desire v boredom, expected patterns, & emotional/professional/loyalty distancing, that most people experience.

Almost EVERYONE experiences disassociation. Frame it for them in a way that they experience… then frame it as it happening outside of what they expect. Most people connect/understand/are alarmed by even the idea of such a thing. It’s why Alzheimer’s is scary. As people can imagine the flickers, even if they don’t fully understand the reality.

 

[WorldWanderer]

Because of talking about my therapy sessions with my partner he has an understanding and he's learned to tune into when it happens. He's pretty quick at grounding me now.
He's learned i look like i'm not focused, my speech becomes broken like can't find words, my eyes apparently look different. As soon as he picks up on those things he starts to ground me

 

[user27357]

Great writers have tried and been pretty successful at it. Read Hemingway, read Heller, and read at least the first line of Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughter house five : Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time. The rest of the book is a weird back door fantasy about what else happens to Billy but it really is all about anachronistic thoughts and feelings as only a sufferer could write about at this level. Kurt came through hell and watered down his stories for mass consumption, a little I think.
I try to boil it down for someone that asks me, few have, but the crib notes version of some of the best writers attempts to explain it comes down to: rumination and absentmindedness is to PTSD level disassociation what falling off a bicycle is to a car wreck.

 

[Kelpower]

Because of talking about my therapy sessions with my partner he has an understanding and he's learned to tune into when it happens. He's pretty quick at grounding me now.
He's learned i look like i'm not focused, my speech becomes broken like can't find words, my eyes apparently look different. As soon as he picks up on those things he starts to ground me

How does he ground you,?

 

[WorldWanderer]

How does he ground you,?

He'll normally start by trying to get my attention by saying my name like "hey ........ you okay?" If that works he will ask where I was, then go on to ask vague stuff like what can I see, then He'll make it more specific and ask something like what colour is his t-shirt, what can i hear and bring me back to the room.
If it's gone further or it's turning into a full dissociative flashback he'll use touch, he'll touch me gently on the arm, talking to me asking me if i can hear or feel him.
He was there for the event that caused me the most issues so has an understanding of what to avoid, and what can help. Eg feeling warm, softly spoken tones. If I can respond then he'll use the same as above to guide me back. If his phone is near by or we're at home he'll put music on that I like, things like that.
If it goes as far as to be completely gone, or i shut down he just stays with me through it, keeps talking to me, using gentle touch, comforting me through the process. I tend to get a drop in body temp so he'll grab a blanket or hot water bottle. If I can find words he'll encourage me to talk about what is happening or I'm seeing and feeling, and he'll use those things to challenge them and remind me I am not back there.
Hope all that makes sense! Feel free to reach out if you want me to go into more detail