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What Do You Do In Therapy?

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Whirlwind

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I have only seen one T in my life. I like him. I take forever to trust so I cringe at starting over with someone but I wonder if I should.....he is very experienced, smart, I have seen him off and on for 4 yrs. I just feel like I talk, he comments and while it is good....where does it lead? Yes, I have talked to him about this and he always says he knows what he is doing but I feel clueless still.

What do you do in therapy - would someone share what theirs is like, and how it progressed over time?

Thanks, Whirwind
 
I sometimes feel like my T talks to much lol. But she explains everything to me. So I tell her how I felt in a certain situation, she will ask more questions then she will tell me why she thinks I felt that way and what I can do to help myself if I am in the same situation again. It really helps me that she explains everything to me and she tells me a lot of the time that how I think is normal (because I always feel like I am different to most people in the way I think) I need to understand everything so I can learn and move on.
I sometimes wonder where does it lead, but there is so much to go through and 1 hour a week isn't a lot of time to get through things
 
Four years!?!?!

Sounds like you're doing simple talk therapy. You talk, they occasionally respond. This type of therapy doesn't do much for trauma in the long run.
 
What usually happens in a therapy trauma situation? I been seeing my therapist for five years. I feel like I'm missing something. He said he is a trauma therapist. How do you know if they are telling the truth? I have nothing to compare to.
 
I really like my T and like @mrsps mine explains things and makes connections for me.

For example last session I was talking about my social difficulties and a shop person who had upset me. My T asked if she could interrupt and asked if it would be fair to say that she was passive aggressive. It took me a bit but I realized that the answer was yes....she then so patiently asked if this reminded me if anyone and I literally felt the penny drop.

I love her for these moments. It's exactly what I need.
 
@ghotiff that sounds like mine. I was referred to her a few years ago, by my Dr. I hadn't made it out to see her but once before and then wasn't ready, but she is the same way, Progressive. Now ready, she has homework for me (writing practices like journaling and this site to open up and amends charts this week) and primarily focuses on moving forward which I really like. She's easy to talk to but has the penny drop effect as well :)
 
I did talk therapy for 25 years. I learned a lot, but nothing changed in the way I felt and experienced life. I just understood more.

Somatic therapy has completely changed my life in the last two years.

I think it's vital to have both - an understanding of what's going on and a way to release the trauma energy through bodywork to reduce symptoms and open up to a new way of being.

But in the end - only we know if there is progress and change with the therapy we have.
 
We talk about how my "resourcing" is going - how my coping skills are working or not working, sometimes we troubleshoot relationships. Sometimes we go through some CBT skills regarding my thinking patterns. Most sessions we pick a trauma and work on processing it (or impacts of it) using a trauma therapy technique. My therapist has an overall plan and we go over it now and then. I can always have a session where we talk about whatever is in my mind too, but I like the other kind of work because it changes me faster.
 
You asked for examples of what people do in their therapy...I've been working with a trauma therapist for almost a year. It is very different from cognitive therapy (talk therapy). I am still mostly in the stabilization phase (learning how to tolerate and manage emotions and parts of myself), but have done a bit of the second phase of trauma therapy called "processing."

In every session, the focus stays on my physical self and breathing and me trying to describe what I am feeling in my body. The "talking" part takes a lot of different forms depending on my "state." Usually he helps me try to link the physical and emotional together. We talk about what's happening in my life and link it to emotion. I share bits and pieces of my memories and link it to emotion. Over a period of months, I started to learn how certain emotions "feel" in my body, and about parts of myself that are stuck in past trauma. We work on grounding strategies. Sometimes we stand up and move, releasing blocked up trauma energy. It is a collaborative relationship. He does very little directive talking, and hardly ever any interpretation of anything unless I ask him. Mostly he asks questions, educates me a bit on things about trauma I don't know about, and helps me get to know the parts of myself that need help.

In a year, I've talked very little about my trauma, not because it is hard to do, but because just talking about is all cognitive/intellectual. I could talk forever about my life but it wouldn't change anything. In order to heal and become a centered self, you need to heal the wounded parts of yourself. To do that, you need to process the trauma. In order to do that, you have to be able to experience feelings, not just talk about them. This is extremely difficult for most people who have been traumatized...you have to learn and practice strategies to "feel" the feelings without getting overwhelmed or retraumatized.

There are some good books and websites about trauma therapy, particularly about somatically based therapy which is the recommended standard. Check out Peter Levine's books, as well as the website Somatic Experiencing (the type of therapy he developed). Also check out the website about Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) and the books about it. Richard Schwartz is the big name in IFS. IFS is the type of therapy I'm doing. Their website is called The Center for Self-Leadership.
 
@Hope4Now

"you have to be able to experience feelings, not just talk about them"

I think you are further on than me. My last session my T started asking about my emotions and we had a conversation about how I don't see any value in emotions and I aim to not have them.

Uggggg. I think I see now where that conversation is heading. Not looking forward to that.
 
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