Hmmmm....cool quote. For me, the recovering process involved digging deep, and then a little deeper than that, to find the actual roots of my rage and anger. I finally understood why I was feeling so strongly about certain things......now what? I still wanted to slap the taste out of a few mouths in my daily interactions and my filter didn't (doesn't) work well in preventing me from saying exactly what I thought.
Then came trying to learn how to stay aware enough during the heat of the overwhelming emotional moments so I could learn how to better redirect all those high-energy feelings into healthier outlets that left me feeling more empowered and less enraged. The trickiest part, by far, and it remains very much a challenge at times.
Continually reaching for external means left me falling short, and those means all too often complicated issues instead of providing any relief. Those things could also be easily snatched away at any given moment, and some simply weren't safe for my biology, so now what?
Turning inward, with the guidance and help of several different very generous practitioners who also struggle in their own existence and had forged their own path to wellville in all the ways I'd been taught to avoid, provided answers to questions I never even knew I needed to ask and finally produced more effective and sustainable results than I knew were even possible.
I had to learn how to keep my relief real (artificial anything doesn't jive well with my biology), keep it fun, keep it interesting, and keep it accessible at all times. Breath, energy, purposeful movement, gratitude, nature and what I fuel my body with are the foundations of relief that I rely on now. Arranging my environment to meet these needs daily was key in that having a safe space to exist in and to escape to is very necessary.
Unlearning all I thought I knew to make room for all the nurturing things I never received before has been the hardest thing I've ever learned to do, because, dammit, I spent a lot of money being taught many inaccurate and outdated things, and so did all of those highly paid professional advisors I'm supposed to be trusting with my life. Talk about anger, that right there pisses me off, too. Anger management continues to be a challenge, and I wouldn't expect anything less in such a twisted world.
