What Does Your Therapist Do When You Zone Out?

[ARE290260]

I am new here, so if I am doing something wrong, feel free to correct me, and bare with me...

I'm just wondering why my therapist does certain things because I can't figure it out. When I zone out (possibly dissociate?) and stare at the wall, my therapist always tilts her head to try and make eye contact with me. I just don't understand why she does this. Any thoughts? Anybody else ever have a similar situation?

 

[Lucycat]

I would suggest she is trying to determine whether you are 'in the present'. As you are aware of her doing this then you probably are. If you are totally 'out of it' she would probably try something else, like sound or touch to bring you back.

She needs you to be 'in the room' in order for the therapy to progress. However I am not blaming you. I zoned out a lot in the beginning. It was about feeling overwhelmed and not being able to cope. However I can tolerate therapy a lot better now so it is a coping strategy I no longer need (as much anyway).

 

[roaminggnome]

When I dissociate my therapist calls my name and I start to come back to the present. Then she talks to me. She has known me long enough to know when I am dissociating. Perhaps your therapist is trying to do the same through eye contact.

 

[just keep swimming]

Dude I know exactly what you mean, done it most my life. Skirting boards are my favorite, Just been diagnosed with D.I.D which stands for Dissoiative identity disorder. That don't mean you got it, I am in England, if you are you can contact the 'Potters gate' center in Norwich who will e-mail 2 screening tests and assess for them free then send you results.

There is no medication for this disorder just ongoing Psycotherapy however its important to for me to know that I have it as It means I need a specialist therapist in this area. All words here are brand new to me. Goodluck.

 

[FindingMyself88]

My therapist often times will wait to see if I'm just processing something. She wants me to look her in the eyes before we go on to something else.

If I do zone out, she will move towards me and ask me if I am here with her. Normally that brings me back…She has had to touch me on the arm once.

 

[mytai]

I'm not 100% sure what my T does prior to using touch, but my T will sit next to me and either put her hand on my arm or shoulder and use rocking to bring me back. When I dissociate, I'm really gone a lot of the time. It takes something as strong as touch/rocking to bring me back.

Why not ask your T what she is doing? Honestly for me, asking has been my biggest ally. My T is always very quick to answer questions I have regarding what she does and why she does it. It has helped to build trust in her greatly.

 

[crazy8]

Yeah it sounds like you're dissociating. Your therapist probably knows that, but it also might be helpful for you to tell her that you are aware that this is happening, and ask her what she thinks - talking through it a bit rather than wondering might help you process what's happening to you and work through it..

It's happened to me in therapy a few times. Luckily my therapist knew what was happening. Haha, literally once he asked me a question that was hitting on a difficult topic (I don't remember what it was because I dissociated). Then I started thinking about how to answer it, and dissociated. He saw it as soon as it happened and said "oops, there it goes!" Ha, in retrospect it was quite comical (albeit very confusing at the time). We are starting to get into some very difficult topics, so I anticipate this happening a lot more in the near future.

 

[Tinyflame]

I would think, perhaps expecting it (or expecting it to sometimes being more likely to occur), sort of ~normalizes it a bit?

 

[Reds]

My t does the same thing as well, she just tries to get that eye contact which led me to sitting behind the couch during sessions. Only twice when I was really out of it she touched my shoulder. But she would first tell me she is about to touch my shoulder or come near me. I have issues with physical contact so she always makes me aware when she is coming close to me.

 

[mytai]

@Reds My T does the same thing. She makes me aware of what she is doing, regardless of whether she thinks I can hear her or not, she always verbalizes what she is doing and that she is moving closer/touching me.

If I ended up behind my T's couch it would be a real feat. Her couch is against a wall. For some reason that image made me smirk - me being behind the couch, not you.

 

[ARE290260]

@Reds... after she tries making eye contact with me, I hide under my sweatshirt!

 

[DMerish]

Why not just ask her the next time you are together? Then you can understand directly from her why she does it, rather than speculations gleaned here.