What Is Combat PTSD?

[Sarg]

Unfortunately, there were and are still Nam Vets looking for a free ride. That's what makes it a bitch to get service connected with our VA. And on top of that, I was a propjockey. "Air Force don't do nothin' but fly around cargo all day" sort of bullshit. The only thing was THEY diagnosed ME with it, or what they called waaaaaaaaaaaay back then and gave ME service connection for it.

WE, the VA and I just got into a thirty-year-long battle as to it's severity. They treated it with Benzos back then, which is the only thing that works for me. That was until the eighties when they just stopped sending it to me. No warning, no reason, just nothing. Nice guys, Eh?

Sarg

 

[reddevil1111]

I just have such a hard time with them. I saw the way my father was treated by the VA. Then the time I spent in Hines VA in Chicago for my recovery. I tried to walk into the Denver VA and it was so hard to go inside... when I did I felt like I was swimming down the same drain. The arm twisting, lack of real care...the 8-9 hr wait for an asprin. Not being fed or given pain meds ona regular basis. It all slams back and I cant do it.
And I tried to explain all of that to that therapist and she just gave me a look back like well its the only option?! I dont know even my wife seems to think that they have all the answers. She tells me to go for my disability with them. They offered me 35% when I got out and I denied it. I lived a dream that I would return to the service. And I tried for about 4 years till I was pulled aside by an officer after my 5th medical review. He said look, move on stop wasting you time its never going to happen.
I dont want that damned money, I dont want the help they have. I dont want a damned thing from the military or the VA and I dont care if that means living in a cardboard box with nothing to my name.
Why is that so difficult for so many people to understand? Why is it so strange?
I told my wife the other day that when I die I want to be cremated. Throw the ashes anywhere just no urn, no plot no brass plate ...nothing. She says she will do it but thinks its the strangest request. I told her ive never been to a funueral ( I have but I stayed about 40 ft away) I told her I dont want to be at my own funeral. I would rather she take my daughters out for a good meal and maybe raise a glass to me and that be the end.
Again, another idea that she cant understand and feels like she has to.
there are days where I feel a lot like a cornered rat. No cheese, no where to hide. So ok....lets fight!

 

[Sarg]

Got two extremely crazy adopted brothers, both Marines, gonna give me the standard insane so long. Gonna be cremated, my dog will already have been, they'll spread our ashes on a point on the mountain (actually, It's my mountain, as I bought it from a drunk Navajo for a bottle of Jack Daniels), there'll be the standard gun salute, a Coors poured over the site, they'll leave me a pack of Pall Malls.

I'll have a 180 degree view of the most beautiful place on earth and a great view of the town for the rest of eternity.

I'll be sitting up there, with my dog, watching the world tear itself to pieces.

How closer to Nirvana can you get?

Sarg

 

[Wagon]

Right on Sarg. Simple things that keep us sane.

 

[tho9900]

Nic and I have both of our wishes set in stone.. and both of us want what Sarg wants... This song reminds me of this...

 

[tho9900]

oops here it is...

 

[Bill Simmons]

Dump my ashes in the sea. Better than that send them off planet. I sometimes feel like I got left here like some sailor who fell off a ship and drifted to some place where he could not understand the language. Even in Nam when it got real I sometimes felt like I was looking at myself from somewhere else, like I had two minds working at the same time. I can only imagine what it was like on the ground. Yes a hot LZ was close be not the same. Always a huge amount of noise in a chopper, never the silence of the night, never the motionless waiting like on the ground. Everything always in motion. Man f*ck this, I have not thought about that shit in a loooong time. I smell f*cking JP 4. Combat PTSD? you think!!

 

[reddevil1111]

Johnny and I were cut from the same cloth. This is an Epic song and I think it explains us.

 

[Sarg]

Nam era, excuse please?

Sarg

 

[Jimmy1]

Lets not hijack this article by putting music video's and crap on it. We have a thread for that.
Comments are welcome though.....

 

[reddevil1111]

yes mom... []
[]
0 O 00

 

[reddevil1111]

man... even my flip off got ruined!