Dom Violence What Is Domestic Violence?

[Nicolette]

Oh dear SweetLullaby ((hugs)).

I know that no amount of logic or reason will help convince you right now that you have nothing to be ashamed of, to be sorry for let alone be forgiven for as you did nothing wrong. If anyone should feel like that it is your ex husband as he has abused you and continues to do so at arm's length.

I do know from my own experience that, if you keep searching, one day you will find a way to look at this from the outside in instead of the inside out. You may then see what we already know - you weren't to know and are not to be blamed.

I don't want you to cry let alone live in fear and be disliked by people who are not worthy of your time. Be that as it may, this is a journey only you can take and we're here to hold your hand, wipe away a tear and let you know we support you as many times as it takes, until you at least find a little forgiveness for yourself. Trust me when I say that when you find that forgiveness you may just be lucky enough to realise the only chains which now bind you are those tangled from that toxic relationship. Untangle those and maybe you can rest from this burden you carry.

 

[SeanCharles]

What does the term domestic violence mean to you?

To me, this term is right up with bullying. Being in Alaska, this is a state with a high Domestic Violence criminal rate. As a male who is finally exploring this issue and the exposure to this I am embarking on hopefully understanding me and my relationships with women, especially with women who have authority over me. I've been seeing a pattern which until now I've either been avoiding or waiting until I felt the time was right to explore what I consider to be a sensitive topic.

I am having a sudden 'Ah Ha' moment here and feel I need to write this as this may or not be related.

My relationship with my mom and sister has always been strained. I am beginning to feel like I've unlocked the door to a familiar place I belong and felt I didn't for awhile, ironically I can say that about my present employment too, only the latter is applicable there, I don't belong there, I never should have went there, now I am stuck there. I do have a feeling though by shifting my emotional focus to this forum and my diary and delving into this term, I may overcome or discover the hidden treasure that I am seeking.

 

[SeanCharles]

Hmmmm... setting aside my earlier childhood which is the precursor to the latter of what what I am writing now, Being babysat and looking upon things with a clarity I hadn't seen in looking at that trauma period before, In a way I was a victim of Domestic Violence, yet those two, weren't socially Domestic Violent towards each other even though one claimed the other as his girlfriend. I do know, that he was abused and in turn abused me, I am not exactly clear what 'her' motivation was, but she too did things with me... In ways, I am seeing myself as a pawn in someone else's chess game?!

I don't want to hijack this forum, but I feel I am in in ways in uncharted waters here... Any comments, or support would welcomed...

 

[Freedomfighter]

What does the term domestic violence mean to you?

To me it was to be disenfranchised, dehumanized, d...

Wow, you know those types exist everywhere. I see them around, males and females, see them walking their doggies and after a long while they realize that those doggies may obey them but they can not replace a real human. But they happily go on pretending those doggies are their friends, easier than having to be a good partner I guess.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Domestic violence is any form of abuse, violence and or coercion by a partner or previous partner tha...

Domestic violence is a broad subject and I thought a lot about what it means: any time another human being attempts to make you feel bad then you are experiencing violence.
I was so used to that kind of behavior in a prior marriage that at first I was unable to distinguish between people that wanted to hurt me and people that wanted to help me. I was so confused about that I truly believed that people that actually hurt me were trying to help me.

So now, any time someone does that just once, has already stepped into a shit pile that will not let them get close to me, ever.

 

[Freedomfighter]

You know, I developed a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder during this "great" marriage. So yes, he still...

Yep, I know how you feel. Oh boy oh boy do I know how you feel. My first abuser, my father has that crap down pat. I mean all of the female neighbors will come running to help that "poor old man" because he acts so distraught. In the meantime I have to safeguard myself against his intrusions.
My ex husband followed in my father's steps and now that I think back I can think of so many times how he abused me verbally before we were married.The curse of a predator often keeps us from making the right decisions. Then add an insane stalker that enjoys to use friends to threaten and harass me.

To top it off, when I finally thought I get the help, to be safe from that monster, I met another monster, and it is today that I know this for sure. Someone who I personally entrusted my safety too, has in the past years used his connections to hunt me, to harass me and to stalk me. Some people I was not surprised to learn that from but this person who I thought could be trusted with enacting the law turned out to be a sick predator. I did not know that at the time, a bitter pill to swallow indeed.
That is a shock that takes a long time to recover from.

 

[dulcia]

Telling me you're going to slit my cat's throat. Or chop up my dog and bury him in the backyard. Or chop me up and bury me in the backyard.