What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[Rani G2]

She said: Upper middle class life, with a clean house, car and child = All I ever needed.

She asks, what’s yours?
I dont know, and anything I will say feels futile, there lies something to be found

She says: Cannot understand.
I say: I will explain when the time is ripe.

 

[NatBird]

what a mystery life can be, and a whole lot of curiosity and gratitude:)

 

[Tinyflame]

Bumped in to a guy who had made the moves before, first was disappointing to find out he was married- then found out his wife was my cousin's dtr- they had a grandhild, saw picture. (Adult) child from 1st marriage's baby.

A phone call I just had.

Too many thoughts.

 

[Frostheaved]

Neo-Victorian fashion. I think it's cute.

 

[Ronin]

Time don't make sense.

What else is new.

 

[Mee]

Is it possible for people who have no inner monologue to have counting type OCD?
weird pondering ?

 

[Deanna]

That my daughter has been diagnosed with C-PTSD. She didn't grow up with me because I have C-PTSD. I thought it would be better to grow-up with husband's new wife ( who came from money) and my real husband who hated me but came from a better home-life than I. What the Hel# was I thinking?

 

[Mee]

That my daughter has been diagnosed with C-PTSD. She didn't grow up with me because I have C-PTSD. I thought it would be better to grow-up with husband's new wife ( who came from money) and my real husband who hated me but came from a better home-life than I. What the Hel# was I thinking?

That you wanted to give her the best possible chance?

She might have developed cPTSD in either circumstance - all the same people and backgrounds and stuff involved. You can only know, and tell her you made the decision ( imo a courageous and loving one that) wanting better for her and you are sorry it didn’t prevent her .

but her life experiences are her own.

I am so sorry - it must be awful having some idea of the pain she is in and feeling helpless. You did your best with the information available at the time

 

[LuckiLee]

I'm kinda worried about J and his dental appointment tomorrow. I won't be able to get there right away so I hope his anxiety is manageable. I'm usually able to keep him calm in these situations. He won't show it there but he could come home and have a meltdown. Fingers crossed!!

 

[Deanna]

That you wanted to give her the best possible chance?

She might have developed cPTSD in either circumstance - all the same people and backgrounds and stuff involved. You can only know, and tell her you made the decision ( imo a courageous and loving one that) wanting better for her and you are sorry it didn’t prevent her .

but her life experiences are her own.

I am so sorry - it must be awful having some idea of the pain she is in and feeling helpless. You did your best with the information available at the time

I was young and was a victim of domestic abuse from him ( her dad) I was almost killed by him. I don't know why I painted this rosey picture for my daughter. Her adoptive mom was also a victim of abuse by him. I thought he just hated me and they would stay married forever. They stayed married for 5 years is all. John was drunk all the time ( except for work) that's what he died from. Anyway.. He had my self-esteem on the floor saying I would be a bad mother.

Anyway, my daughter lives 10 minutes away. We're not really close... Because she's not close with anyone . hates people. Ring a bell? She just got diagnosed with cPTSD and is unmedicated, although i love her partner and my grandchildren. She's been in psychiatry for a long time but won't go to a therapist because she doesn't want to talk about issues.

 

[Mee]

@Deanna
you did your best at the time. You believed you would be an incapable mother. You were told you would be and you believed it. You certainly might have regrets about your choice - I think responsibility is part of addressing how we walk through the world- but you made what you thought was the best of not great options , is how I read it? Life with a mother you believed was ‘incapable’ or life with her father who was a drinker but functional.

You can’t know how tryinv other options would have worked For her mental health. Custody battles etc . I have seen friends children severely impacted by that in abusive relationships - even ones where no hand was raised and barely a voice.

 

[NatBird]

wondering if I can change, if there is any point anymore