What Is Your Inner Child Feeling Today?


Irritated....have to quarantine.....my friend got close to someone who was near a person who tested positive. Had to cancel T, my curbside appt w doc, and my plans for the week. Arg......just a moment in time....just a moment in time....


Scared that it’s happening all over again.

No, the feeling I'm having isn't fear. I've come to terms with the fact that my life is finite, and that this life is just a journey, death is a new chapter.....if I get it I get it. I wouldn't be happy, but I believe my life will never be over.....it will go on.....differently. My irritation is that things had been improving and I had made lots of travel and social plans for this year......lots of new to see. I had this chapter planned out month by month through 2020, vacations, social, new experiences all down the drain. I'm not a spring chicken anymore, and the clock is a ticking. Then I concede, I change thinking....tell myself again, it's just a moment in time......change to working around my house and making improvements, thinking I'm coping with the situation pretty well again, boom......another limitation.....it is change that is irking me.....I have had tons of change in the last 3 years.....would like things to go as planned for a while, and I don't see that happening for quite a while. I'm doing my best to roll with it, make new plans, and I'm not rolling quite as quickly or well as I was a while back....that's all. I'll get over it.


Betrayed. Promised her we'd never report it. But I did.
Promised her that would be the end of it, that we'd leave it there.

Emailed for a claim form today.

So betrayal.

When the initial anger (fear) passes, we'll have some work to do.


I think 4-9 year old is in a constant state of confusion and fear.
The littlest little.

Right now though it's really loud in my head- run away! hide!

at the same time an older little just wants to be angry at the world. Rebel!

This constant push, pull of flight and fight.
It's exhausting and confusing.

I made a safe space for my littles but I can't force them to hang out there otherwise they just feel trapped.

So we're just going to mentally chill. Eat a lot of cookies (for real) and nap in a hammock by the lake, in a massively wide open but secluded and peaceful spot, listening to the ducks and other birds (mentally) and hopefully they relax and we don't spiral the hell out of control again into trauma land.


Contentment and a bit scared. Our cat is doing well, but someone fed her a raw hot dog last night and I think she ate some of it. Inner child is ticked off now, because cat did not finish her good food. She worries that cat will be punished like she was as a child for not finishing her good food.


Raw and confused, why don’t you trust me?
She wants to reach for connection, and though I do reach back I don’t trust what she says or remembers. I don’t trust her to carry truth. She’s sad about this, I’m conflicted. Self-hatred offers itself as a solution, but I’ve tried that and it didn’t work.

The Albatross

Closest thing I have to an inner child (who was nonverbal and just screamed anyways) is "I hate my life"... except I don't hate my life. I hate the circumstances that are brought to me within the dysfunctional familial crap. Most f*cked up part being I don't "know" that they "really" love me... even though I do love them.

But... they are what I have... so I expect my life "lessons" are with them unless or until I self banish... which being a monkey (social creature with a hierarchy) mind isn't likely.


She is sad. Sad that there is no blood family that cares. That the adult has to make decisions to keep her from being hurt further. By family. She understands, but now the adult has to deal with the void. It was an illusion, this family thing. It was always a void. Now reality. Once again. She is so sad.