Poll What Is Your Stance On Hugs?

[Anna]

I hate hugs unless I ask for them. My emotions were invalidated all my life. I am a pretty hard and cold person on the outside. I also find compliments annoying, like someone is brown nosing me.

 

[Loner]

I don't get enough.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Me too Loner. I love hugs and will take all the hugs I can get from my family. I do not like to hug strangers.

 

[Sebastian]

I hate hugs unless I ask for them. My emotions were invalidated all my life. I am a pretty hard and cold person on the outside. I also find compliments annoying, like someone is brown nosing me.

I'm sorry that your emotions were invalidated, that sounds awful :/ I used to feel the same way about compliments util I started making friends with people at a school I went to for a year or so

 

[Tanishq]

I will hug only certain people whom I trust, care and love. That means friends and loved ones. :D

 

[Changing4Best]

I accept hugs from folks I know well, from my therapist, from family, but I don't like men especially to try to hug me unless I have known them for awhile or might be dating them or something. A hug better not be an excuse to try to get too personal with me! Especially if that hug is from someone I hardly know. I might pull away or be
stand-off-ish in that case, or even say that I don't want to hug.

Our family were not huggers. My sister brought this new thing home from college with her, so my family slowly accepted it. Still, I am cautious with hugs, because if one is willing to accept a hug, some man might get the idea that more than that will be accepted, and it won't be, unless I get to know him well first!

 

[The Albatross]

In real life I am not much of a hugger. I seldom offer hugs, and usually they are for senior citizens or young children. Occasionally though I am put in situations where I feel pressured to accept the hug when offered. I do though hold myself at a distance... most likely what I perceive is a safe distance from peers. I can use endearments verbally, but then they do not require me to let people "into my space". So I voted "depends on the circumstance"

 

[Graven Idol]

I will hug my brothers and only them.

 

[Invisible-Guy]

I still love hugs from most people, cuddling with my wife, too. But I seem to shy away from kissing and other affections.

 

[Britt.f7]

It really depends on the situation and frame of mind I am in. One day I can hug someone and the next I might not be able to hug the same person. Some people recognize this and accept it. This thread really made me think of how I feel and it occurs to me that every hug I get, even give, I talk to myself about to make it okay. This is even with my spouse or my children. I have one son who is not much of a hugger and one who is a constant hugger. I know they are safe, but I notice I still tell myself it is okay.

More often then not, with little kids, I will let them decide if they want to hug. I don't like them to feel forced.

Don't like my therapist to hug me and I had a hugging therapist prior to the one I now have. This one doesn't seem to be a hugger so that is a good thing to me.

I think it is easier, for the most part, to hug when there are a bunch of people around then when I am alone with someone. I guess it feels safer.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

This is tricky for me. I like hugs. But I don't always like to be touched. It makes me uncomfortable. It depends from situation to situation and who it is if I feel comfortable hugging or being touched. It really depends on the situation and who it is and how I'm feeling. If I initiate a hug I'm ok because I can gauge how close I allow a person to be to me.

 

[winterose]

I can take hugs from here because I can read the intent. In real life because people are more complex and body language mixed with my PTSD signals, I do not like being hugged until I really feel safe. Kids are ok or animals.