Looking up artical after article online for advice on being a troubled senior getting through the holiday season, and reading the 'cheerful' suggested solutions. NOT! They make me so angry! They are NOT what I need, but what I need probably isn't sensible. I need quite, announced, specific visitors...and a plate of food brought over with a short visit to see how I'm doing and if I need anything. I need help getting drapes up and I need help dusting. I don't have the drive to do it. I need an offer to be taken to a small grocery store, or to the drive-thru for a fish sandwich. I need my anxiety medication in order to be with you, and then I'll be sleepy from it. I need them to know I don't give a damn about the holidays, and that most of my memories of them remind me of some of my abuse and loss. I dwell on this or that of these types of things and feel a low grumbly rage deep inside me...daily. The poor person who unknowingly sets it off never sees it coming because he won't get educated, and then he gets his feelings hurt and in my state of rage I need to worry about HIS feelings. Sigh.